Friday, September 7, 2007

Where's My Damn Heisman Campaign At? The Felix Jones Debate Begins

It didn’t take very long at all for the Arkansas Razorback football program to spawn some new controversy. After a tumultuous off season of emails, text messages, and transfers, the Arkansas football program has another issue on its’ hands: a Heisman Trophy campaign dispute. Arkansas has already released as a way to promote Darren McFadden for the Heisman Trophy (which I secretly know that he has already been awarded), but my inside sources tell me that the geniuses at the University weren’t counting on a Felix Jones uprising one game into the season. Felix the cat is 5th in the NCAA in rushing yards per carry at 10.8 behind only some guy at Navy (who will most likely be sent off to Iraq before he can finish the season), McGee at Texas A&M (Gig 'em!), Little at Kentucky (Andre Woodson won't stand for this and will want to throw 50-60 passes per game now), and some White fellow at West Virginia.

(Where's Felix? Oh, there he is... in Darren McFadden's background... again)

Do you realize that if Jones had gotten the number of carries McFadden did, he would be leading the nation in rushing yards right now? I'm not saying he's better, I'm just pointing it out.

Jones is also second in the nation in kickoff return average at 48 yards per touch with one touchdown and was named SEC Special Teams player of the week for his efforts.

Felix refused to comment saying that he would let his production on the field speak for him, and also didn’t want to say anything bad about McFadden and ruin his ride around campus on McFadden’s scooter, so I tracked down a really good friend of a cousin of the brother of an uncle-in-law of Felix Jones to find out how Felix really feels.

"He ain't happy with it, I can tell you that," said this man who wishes to remain anonymous , "Felix is like lightening and thunder and rain and snow and sunshine all wrapped into one gigantic hurricane. The University is promoting McFadden like he is the Almighty one who walks on water and what they didn't realize is Felix is the better one of the two. As a personal close friend of Felix's, I feel it is my duty to get his campaign for the Heisman off the ground. Right now I am looking at,, and as some possible websites coming very soon to help promote him. Why do you think Felix wears number 25? It's because he is five times the player of number five, Darren McFadden. Anybody that knows Felix, knows that's why he wears 25."

On Felix's personal interests form he lists his five favorite heroes specifically like this I think:

1. Batman – not Robin
2. Hall – not Oates
3. Zack – not Slater
4. Hootie – not the Blowfish
5. Milli - not Vanilli

As you can see, Felix is always in the background of photos of the two of them like some back up singer on a musician’s CD cover. Let the debate begin!

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