Monday, September 10, 2007

Celebrity Hog Fan Interview

Fresh off winning four VMA awards and one Primetime Emmy for “(Blank) in a Box,” I called up renowned Hog-lover, Justin Timberlake, last night for a quick interview:

Me: While you spent some part of your childhood just north of Memphis, some people incorrectly believe you are University of Memphis fan or a Tennessee Vols fan.

That’s way wrong, man. I’ve been calling the Hogs forever – it’s just usually never caught on camera or recorded or in any public interview I’ve ever done for whatever reason, but I’m a huge fan. I am such a big fan that I have been working on a re-make of my hit “Sexyback” and am looking at releasing the new version soon. It’s called “Razorback” and here’s a preview of the first verse:

I am a Razorback
My ex-girl, Britney, must be high on crack
Just try to stop Felix or D-Mac
And you’ll lose your jock, yes, that's a fact

Take it to the house Hogs!

Me: You had a big blowout at the MTV VMA’s last night. What was the highlight of the night for you?

Watching my overweight, out of shape ex-girl, Britney, try to lip sync her way through some crap she calls a song while not wearing enough clothes and totally ruining what little of a career she had left. When I saw her on stage, I was tempted to call out Woo Brit Sooie! Woo Brit Stinky! Woo Brit shooey! Like the saying, what goes around, comes back around!

Me: So, are you a McFadden or Jones man?

Oh, you ain’t going to take me down that road. I’m not going to play that game cause they’re both my boys! I’m going to be politically correct and say Weston Dacus is my man! Bust little Johnny Parker Wilson in the mouth Saturday, boy!

Me: To the big game this Saturday, Arkansas – Alabama: Prediction?

The thing I like best about being in Alabama is when I’m leaving Alabama. They’re 2-0 and think Nick Saban is a god and that they’re on their way back to national prominence and all that. The Hogs kind of got lucky last year to win in Fayetteville, but there will be no luck needed this year. I’m predicting a big D-Mac attack and more special teams magic from Felix, and the Hogs win by three touchdowns. After the game is over, all I'll have left to say is cry me a river, Bama!

Timberlake's next cd set to be released in 2008 is currently titled: "Justin: Calling the Hogs"


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