Wednesday, December 31, 2008

#4 No More

Last night was pretty. Oh, so pretty. The young Arkansas Razorbacks grew up. They put on their big boy pants and went to work and methodically dismantled the #4 team in the nation over from Norman, Oklahoma by a score of 96-88 (I predicted by 12 in the post below, so I was off by four points).

The 12-0 Sooners came calling last night, and the Hogs heard and answered that call. Before the brothers Griffin could even get settled in, Courtney Fortson was dropping dimes, Michael Washington was jamming the ball through the hoop and Stefan Welsh was continuing his torrid three-point shooting.

The Hogs outrebounded the Sooners 45-33 and shot 21 more free throws than the Sooners. The Hogs were the more agressive and hungrier team last night, and they looked it. In front of the season's first sellout in Bud Walton arena, the Hogs led by as much as 21 points the first half and 25 in the second half. The Razorbacks outhustled the Sooners and just wanted it more than the Sooners did.

Washington went for 24 points and 11 boards while Fortson nearly got another triple double as he had 12 points, 10 assists and 8 rebounds. And how about Marcus Monk (yes, that Marcus Monk) getting 12 points and 6 boards in 20 minutes of play!? Here is the official boxscore.

This couldn't have helped the Sooner psyche very much heading into the game. More pics over at The Lost Ogle. Thanks to "J" for dropping the assist.

This dude(?) still dropped 21 points and 13 boards on the Hogs, but it wasn't enough.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Here Come the Ugly Brothers

Arkansas 9-1 vs. Oklahoma 12-0 #4

One is ugly. The other is even uglier. I'll let you decide which is which.

That's right Razorback fans - two ugly brothers for the price of one tonight at Bud Walton Arena! The only problem: one is a hell of a player and the other is not too bad either. But enough praise for the brothers Griffin known as Blake and Taylor, because this site is not for the praise of opponents.

Tonight will be the young Hogs first test of the season and it couldn't come against a better team to take down than the #4 ranked OU Sooners.

The brothers Griffin will be matched up against the brothers Michael for Arkansas. Michael Washington and Michael Sanchez will have the task of containing the younger Griffin, Blake, who will bring his 23 pts. and 14 rebounds per game average to Fayetteville. The potential #1 NBA draft pick this season will get a rude awakening the first time Michael Sanchez hacks him across the head (Vegas over/under line is approx. 17 seconds into the game).

This will be no easy walkover win for Arkansas. In fact, they will have to fight to beat OU by more than 10 points, but I think Clarke and Fortson are too tough for OU's guards and the Hogs win by 12.

(Aaacckk! You didn't think it was possible for OU to have any uglier players than the Griffins did you? Wrong! This is Austin Johnson. Courtney Fortson, Stefan Welsh, and Rotnei Clarke will have the job of staring at this dude's ugly grill all night long. What the hell is that growing out of his chin?)

(If this happens tonight and I was on the floor, I would make sure I punched him in the nutsack. That's just me though, and maybe Joe Kleine.)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Post Christmas Blah

Just a couple of quick links for you today as the Razorback bball team gets set to take on the OU Spooners Tuesday night in Bud Walton Arena.

The Hogs blasted NW State (La) last night...

and there is still time to vote for Casey Dick's TD pass to lift the Hogs over LSU as the Pontiac game-changing performance of the year. Vote right here.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas From The Hog Tale

The Hog Tale sincerely hopes you and your family have a great Christmas. Personally, I pity the fool who doesn't cheer for the Razorbacks!

For some time-wasting fun, you can check out If you've never been there, you can matchup all kinds of sports teams from years gone by against each other and see what results come out of it. Anyway, I created a Razorback Dream Team (the selection of players is pretty good, but still limited to certain years only - no Scott Hastings or Joe Kleine to roam the imaginary paint), and as you can see below we beat the hell out of the Duke national championship team from '91-'92. And, anytime you can beat up on Duke, you do it.

Here's the imaginary boxscore... NCAA Basketball Boxscore

91-92 Duke 80
2008 Razorback Dream Team 102

Bobby Hurley 29 1/6 1/5 0/1 0 8 0 1 2 4 3
Christian Laettner 29 4/10 0/1 2/4 7 4 1 1 3 4 10
Thomas Hill 28 7/13 1/2 3/4 3 1 0 2 2 3 18
Brian Davis 28 6/10 1/2 5/5 5 1 0 1 2 4 18
Grant Hill 27 5/11 0/0 0/1 4 4 0 2 2 4 10
Antonio Lang 17 2/4 0/0 3/4 4 1 0 0 1 2 7
Kenny Blakeney 10 3/4 1/1 0/0 2 0 0 2 2 0 7
Cherokee Parks 9 1/1 0/0 0/0 1 1 2 0 0 0 2
Erik Meek 9 1/2 0/0 0/0 2 0 0 0 1 0 2
Marty Clark 6 1/1 1/1 0/0 0 0 0 0 0 2 3
Christian Ast 4 0/1 0/1 0/0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
Ron Burt 4 0/1 0/0 0/0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0
TOTALS 200 31/64 5/13 13/19 28 21 3 9 16 24 80
48.4% 38.5% 68.4%

HOME TEAM: 2008 Razorback Dream Team
Corliss Williamson 32 5/9 0/0 0/3 8 3 1 0 2 4 10
Sidney Moncrief 23 6/10 0/0 8/8 8 3 0 1 2 3 20
Marvin Delph 23 4/5 0/0 2/2 3 2 0 1 1 3 10
Ron Brewer 22 8/11 0/0 3/4 6 3 0 3 1 1 19
Todd Day 21 6/12 1/5 1/2 2 3 1 0 3 0 14
Oliver Miller 19 1/3 0/0 1/2 6 2 3 1 1 2 3
Ronnie Brewer 18 3/6 1/2 0/1 3 4 0 1 0 0 7
Joe Johnson 18 4/5 0/0 2/2 0 0 2 1 2 0 10
Lee Mayberry 13 1/2 0/0 0/0 0 4 0 2 0 1 2
Corey Beck 7 2/2 0/0 1/2 1 2 0 0 1 3 5
Scotty Thurman 4 0/0 0/0 2/2 1 0 0 0 0 0 2
TOTALS 200 40/65 2/7 20/28 38 26 7 10 13 17 102
61.5% 28.6% 71.4%


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Play On, Playa

Courtney Fortson is the SEC Freshman of the week. Last week, after messing around and getting a triple double, he was the SEC player of the week. Junior Michael Washington has won it once as well this year.

Fortson is averaging 15 points, 5 boards and 6.5 assists per game this season leading this young Razorback team. A warning to all other SEC schools... he's only going to get better.

It's gotta be the hair! I'm growing mine out like his as we speak. Nothing says cool like a white guy with dreads.


Monday, December 22, 2008

A Happy Hanukkah to you!

I'd be remiss if I let the first day of Hanukkah pass without posting an Adam Sandler classic.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Jim Thorpe Classic Champs!

Let this serve notice to the rest of the SEC - the Arkansas Razorbacks are Jim Thorpe Classic champs.

We are Jim Thorpe Classic champs and you are not.

Partying commenced well into the night after this championship which ranks right up there with the 1994 national championship. In fact, plans are already in the works to bring back this team during the 2023 season. By that time, we will have won 15 of these and a couple of national championships under Pelphrey.

The Hogs staked their claim to the trophy bearing the name of the famous Oklahoman athlete after steamrolling through Stephen F. Austin last night in Bud Walton Arena 67-51.

Step One: Win Jim Thorpe Classic championship. Check.
Step Two: Win SEC West
Step Three: Win SEC Tourney
Step Four: Win NCAA Tourney

Michael Washington was MVP after going for 17 pts. and 13 boards against Stephen F. which followed his 24 and 12 effort against the Governors of Austin Peay.

This year it was an "Austin" sweep as the Hogs took down Austin Peay on Wednesday before last night's win over Stephen F. Austin. Next year, I say bring in Duke and North Carolina.

The all-tournament team looked like this:
Michael Washington, Arkansas - MVP
Courtney Fortson, Arkansas
Stefan Welsh, Arkansas
Josh Alexander, Stephen F. Austin
Matt Kingsley, Stephen F. Austin
Drake Reed, Austin Peay

How I voted:
Michael Washington, Arkansas - MVP
Courtney Fortson, Arkansas
Stefan Welsh, Arkansas
Rotnei Clarke, Arkansas
Jason Henry, Arkansas
John Pelphrey, Arkansas

(An Arkansas fan burns his couch in celebration of the Jim Thorpe Classic championship. He was admitted to a hospital later with burns, but is doing just fine.)

Next up for the Hogs: Saturday, Dec. 27th, vs. NW (La.) State

Thursday, December 18, 2008

One Win Away From the Title

I attended last night's game at Bud Walton Arena where the Hogs beat Austin Peay 89-80 in the opening game of the inaugural Jim Thorpe Classic.

To say I was disappointed that there were no chants of "Let's Go Peay! Let's Go Peay!" last night is an understatement. Apparently, the school's fans don't travel well for weeknight non-conference games close to holidays, because I didn't notice one Peay brain cheering for the Governors all night. The Govs put up a good fight, as I knew they would, but in the end it was a Rotnei Clarke three that put the dagger in Austin Peay with just over a minute remaining in a well contested game.

Halftime featured the trampoline jumping boys known as the Memphis Grizzlies Dunk Team. I don't think I'm going out on limb either by saying that their dunk team is better than the actual Memphis Grizzlies.

Michael Washington was pretty much unstoppable against an under-sized Peay team and ended up with 24 points and 14 rebounds before fouling out. Courtney Fortson was outstanding again with 20 points, 7 boards, and 7 assists.

Now, the Razorbacks stand on the verge of greatness. They are one win away from staking claim to being The Jim Thorpe Classic champions! A defining moment in Pelphrey's career. A stepping stone for the young Razorbacks that could propel them on to greatness this season. Only Stephen F. Austin stands in the way on Saturday. I can't wait to see the Hogs hoist that Jim Thorpe Classic trophy above their heads and cut down the nets in the arena. What a joyous occasion it will be!

Speaking of Jim Thorpe... does anyone else find the tournament/classic name a bit odd? Thorpe, considered one of the greatest American athletes of all-time played professional baseball, basketball, football, and won Olympic gold medals in the pentathlon and decathlon, and he hails from the great state of... Oklahoma?

Yes, Thrope was born in Oklahoma and attended school in his early years there, but as far as I can tell didn't venture into Arkansas except to possibly escape the white man from time to time.

Excuse me, but what in the name of Houston Nutt Razorback Stadium is going on here?

Is the University of Oklahoma hosting the Bill Clinton Invitational this year? Did I miss the announcement that the University of Texas is tipping off with the Barry Switzer Shootout over the Christmas holiday?

I'm not denying Thorpe's greatness, and name recognition, but how did this come about? I'm sure it has come up and been explained somewhere at sometime, and I missed it obviously. If you can inform and educate the Hog Tale to the reason behind it, we would greatly appreciate it.

Until then, here's hoping the Hogs use The Jim Thorpe Classic championship as a springboard to propel them into dominating SEC play when it begins in a few weeks.

Check out the Rotnei Clarke slam dunk late in the game that was the nail in the coffin for Austin Peay.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dick Pulls Out, Leaves Opening

The Dick Era is officially over for the University of Arkansas football team. Senior Casey Dick is graduating, and now we find out that little brother Nathan is leaving as well. The Sophomore was granted his scholarship release and leaves an opening in the quarterback ranks for the Razorbacks. Dick started two games for the Hogs this season including the final game against LSU when he gave way to big brother at halftime after getting injured. Casey, of course, then led the team to an unbelievable comeback win.

Dick completed 36 of 62 passes for 454 yards with 4 touchdowns and 2 interceptions this season. He played in three games.

You can go here for the full story.

Good luck, Nathan, wherever you land. You will be missed if nothing more than for the sophomoric (ok, maybe 8th grade) humor that you and Casey provided for jackass bloggers like myself.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Getting Ready To Peay

Arkansas hoops returns to action tomorrow night in the first round of the Jim Thorpe Classic here at Bud Walton Arena. The Razorbacks host the Governors of Austin Peay, and then will play against Stephen F. Austin on Saturday.

I would say Austin Peay is one of the more recognizable and popular small schools in the country. I for one cannot resist cheering for the Governors whenever they are on tv. I just like the "Let's Go Peay!" chant coming from the school's fans. That chant apparently came into popularity in the early 1970's during Austin Peay's first two NCAA tourney appearances.

The Governors, who won the Ohio Valley Conference last season, roll into town at 5-3 after losing at Louisville on Saturday. Peay actually led the Cardinals early in the second half. This will definitely be a good test for these young Razorbacks.

The Clarksville, Tennessee school named after popular Tennessee governor and Clarksville native Austin Peay, is coached by Dave Loos who is in his 18th season coaching the Governors and already in the school's hall of fame. The Governors start 2 seniors, 2 juniors, and a sophomore. The Peay boys won't be very big, but they'll be athletic. None of their starters is above 6'6, which includes the team's leading scorer and rebounder - 6'5" Drake Reed who is averaging 20 points and 7 boards a game.

The man with the name that gave a school life and inspired a legendary chant - Governor Austin Peay.

Monday, December 15, 2008

No More Auburn. It is Now Chizikstan.

Because I've got nothing good today from Razorback nation, I'm turning my sights towards Auburn (as are a lot of folks) with the hiring of Gene Chizik. Yes, you heard right, and you should be shaking in your boots just like the rest of the SEC is with this hiring. Gene Chizik should send chills down your spine. I know Bama is scared. Saban is worried. And Auburn fans love Gene Chizik and A.D. Jay Jacobs. Just see how much they love Jacobs in this video...

Some links to strengthen the "Chizik will dominate the SEC" case:

Tide fan Uncle Rico can't even wrap his brain around this outstanding hire...

Track 'Em Tigers is beginning the lovefest that is now The Gene Chizik era!

Over at Hey Jenny Slater, we get the fun and easy definition of "Chizik" and applicable uses for it!

Some happy Auburn fans happily text the writers over at The Corner of Wire & Shug

Even the round mound of nothing profound, Charles Barkley, loves Chizik and couldn't be happier that a white coach will be leading his alma mater next season.

And, finally, even more and more stuff dealing with the Chiznik can be found out over at The Joe Cribbs Carwash.

On the positive side, we finally get some Hog basketball coming up on Wednesday after a week break due to finals. The Hogs host Austin Peay in what should be a good game. The Peay boys were only down two at halftime at #10 Louisville on Saturday before Louisville tightened the clamps in the second half and won going away.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Gatorbillies Unite!

This is disturbingly bad and oh so unintentionally funny at the same time. I'm just glad they're not Casey Dick fans. For last minute Christmas gifts for that Florida Gator fan in the family, I suggest you download this masterpiece for them. Enjoy!

Get Him On The Court And He's Trouble

Last night, Courtney Fortson messed around and got a triple double.

It's been over two decades since a Hog baller messed around and recorded a triple double. In fact, in 1984, Alvin Robertson recorded the only Hog triple double in history in a game at Texas. Granted it wasn't against a big name opponent like Texas, but last night freshman Courtney Fortson added his name to the record books by finishing with 20 points, 11 assists and 10 rebounds to lead the Hogs to an easy 98-70 win over North Carolina... Central.

Warning to all other SEC freshmen ballers: With Courtney Fortson and Rotnei Clarke on the scene in Fayetteville, Freshman of the Year honors goes through here.

Freakin' North Carolina Central brothers like M.J.
Last night the freshman point guard had a good day

Next up for the Hog hoopsters is Austin Peay next Wednesday at Bud Walton Arena in The Jim Thorpe Classic.

Cameras Are the Tool of the Devil!

Long John Daly is back in the news today after taking a man's camera and smashing it against a tree yesterday at the Australian Open.

Apparently the spectator got a little too close to Daly who was taking a drop after pushing his tee shot into the trees. Daly grabbed the camera and smashed it against a tree apparently telling the man "You want it back. I'll buy you a new one."

Big John finished the round with a 78, but will apparently be teeing off for the second round today.

Of course this smashed camera incident comes just a little over a month after his night in a jail after being found at a Hooter's extremely intoxicated and uncooperative.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Honoring Greatness

This is old news around here, because it's been known about for months, but here is Arkansassports Chris Bahn's article from yesterday with quotes from Nolan himself about the upcoming celebration ceremony to be done on February 28th and on March 1st when the Razorbacks host Georgia honoring the 1994 National Championship team.

Topics and speeches to be covered that weekend:

* Dwight Stewart's speech - "Dwight Stewart could have gone pro if Corliss weren't around"
* "The greatness of the Scotty Thurman Three - a 60 minute frame by frame commentary on the three pointer against Duke" by Scotty Thurman
* Corliss Williamson: "Big Nasty's Big Tips About Big Freeloaders Wanting Big Child Support Payments"
* Rick Schaeffer's photographic memory recalling every second from the championship game
* Frank Broyles' speech - "I hired the black coach that won it. It was all me! Me! Me! Me!"
* Davor Rimac's speech - "Remember Me?"
* Coach Mike Anderson's speech - "How we would have never lost those three games that year if Nolan would have listened to me."
* Nolan's speech - "I never ran a single set play all year and still beat everyone's asses"
* Nolan's encore speech - "The Day I Peed in the White Haired Devil's Shampoo Bottle"

Suck it Duke! Look at those Dookies. There was no way they were beating us with big, stupid Cherokee Parks as their center.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


No bowl to talk about. No basketball til tomorrow night. No fun at all really.

Some links for today:

Five Razorbacks made All-SEC including First team member, DJ Williams.
Michael Smith and Jonathan Luigs both made 2nd team All-SEC while defensive player Malcolm Sheppard and punter Jeremy Davis also were 2nd team.

No one cares!, Florida

Eric Berry, Tennessee

The Saban, Alabama

Julio Jones, Alabama

You can go here for the rest of the All-SEC teams which had a total of 10 Tide and Gator players on the 1st team. Interestingly enough, Tim Tebow was just honorable mention. OK, maybe not, but he should have been no more than that.

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Battle For #2

Also known as the SEC Championship:
(I'm already taking OU (or Texas if OU loses to Missouri) to win it all)
Where's the SEC love, Double K, you say? I just don't think any defense can stop either OU or Texas in the title tilt including the Pittsburgh Steelers. Ah, but more to come on that as it gets closer. First, though, let's take a look at the contest for SEC supremacy this weekend.

I've watched quite a bit of these two teams this season. First off, I am still shocked that a team quarterbacked by Sara Jessica Parker Wilson is 12-0 and the team quarterbacked by Superman is a mere 11-1. Florida's lone loss of course coming to the Nutter in Gainesville earlier in the season. Since then, tha Gataz have been on a roll just pounding opponents.

Bama, on the other hand, has just manhandled teams in the trenches, controlled the ball, and not made any stupid mistakes on its' way to an unblemished regular season. The Saban deserves coach of the year honors.

Another shocking thing to me is that the Bammers are 10 point dogs. Seriously? Teblow is not going to be able to run all over this defense and I think it will be a dogfight possibly going down to whomever has the ball last.

With that being said, I'm defying the so-called experts and taking Bama 17-13.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Six Games Into the Season Hog Basketball Report

I've done one sorry ass job of basketball coverage so far this year on this sorry ass blog (self-depreciating humor is supposed to be the way to go from what I hear), but now that football season has ended prematurely, I can pretty much focus on Pel's boys who are off to a 5-1 start.

The Hogs rolled last night behind freshman Jason Henry, who was returning from a three game suspension for beating Coach Pel in a game of horse after practice a few weeks ago (Pel is a super, fiercely competitive guy, and the lessen here is always let your coach win. Freshman mistake by Henry). Henry had 19 and 7 last night off the bench in the Hogs 80-61 win over Texas Southern.

"I think Jason has learned his lesson," said Pelphrey after the game.

One of the interesting side notes is that Texas Southern was coached for most of the game by Rob Flaska who was formerly an assistant here with Stan Heath. TSU head coach Tony Harvey was ejected with 9:31 remaining in the first half. Harvey got into numerous "disagreements" with officials throughout the beginning of the game and berated the officials by continually yelling "your momma!" at them after every call that went against his team. He was finally ejected.

The Tigers committed 18 turnovers mostly due to Courtney Fortson's hair said Coach Flaska after the game.

"Courtney has some of that crazy-scary, braided, pony-tail hair that really intimidated some of our players," said Coach Flaska after the game, "Hell, we come from the Southwestern Athletic Conference. We're not used to seeing hair like that, and it really freaked out a few of our guys. Courtney has game and the hair to go along with it."

Fortson finished with six points, five rebounds, and 11 assists. Rotnei Clarke added 16 points for the Hogs on 4-9 shooting from the three point line.

The Razorbacks should be 6-0 at this point. The only loss was a disappointing road loss to Missouri State who is 3-2 this year and projected to finish near the bottom of the Missouri Valley. I didn't see the game, but I'm sure the horrible officiating is to blame for that one.

Next up for Arkansas is a home contest next Wednesday against North Carolina Central.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Closing Time: The Petrino Era, Year 1

As I've had a few days to sit back, relax, and reflect on the Bobby Petrino era - year one. I've decided that I will live and that I can move on to basketball season without much regret or guilt on my shoulders on behalf of the football season that didn't quite live up to my humble 12-0 expectations.

Let's face it, the five wins could have easily been seven or eight on the bright side (Kentucky for sure, and it wouldn't have been hard for us to end up winning the Ole Miss game or at Mississippi State).

On the ugly side, the LSU win could have been a loss and had we not rallied in the fourth quarter of the first two games, we could have dumped one or both of those and finished with two or three wins. The five Razorback wins were only by a combined 16 points, whereas the seven losses were by a combined 127 points.

But, bah humbug! Let's think positive!

So, where does that leave the state of Razorback football heading into the '09-10 season?

I'm not going to proclaim a 12-0 season next year... yet. But, I will say this, I enjoyed watching the development of the young skill position players this season.

We all knew Michael Smith had some talent just from the brief glimpses we got a year ago when he would spell D-Mac and Felix on occasion. His share of nice runs and the emergence of Dennis Johnson the past few games looks promising. DeAnthony Curtis got a few carries throughout the season and should be included in the running back battle next season.

I told many at the beginning of the year that I wouldn't be surprised to see freshman Joe Adams as a top notch SEC receiver by the time he's a junior and maybe as soon as next season. DJ Williams (sophomore) should be a pre-season All-SEC selection next season and should garner considerable consideration for first team SEC honors this season after leading all tight ends in receiving yards, and finishing fourth overall in the SEC in receiving yards. Tight end Lucas Miller (the old man - a junior) will help man the tight end position as well, so we are solid there.

I thought freshmen Greg Childs and Jarius Wright got better throughout the year, and should only continue to improve further solidifying our receiver corp.

Nathan Dick (and maybe Tyler Wilson too) got just enough experience this season to make for a quarterback battle heading into spring, but throw Ryan Mallet in the mix and this offense (which finished fourth in total offense in the SEC this season) is a potentially very, very good offense in the making for next season.

But as we all know in the SEC (and in college football in general), games many times are won and lost in the trenches. The Hogs most definitely need to continue to develop and recruit good linemen. That will be a key factor in determining how good next year's team will be considering we are losing the planet's best center as Jonathan Luigs will be graduating.

Defensively, the Hogs were up and down and inconsistent at best. They finished dead last in total defense in the SEC. Hopefully, they can build off of the nice second half performance against LSU. I will say that my favorite player to emerge from the defense was Ramon "My Posse's On" Broadway (soph.) with Jerry Franklin (redshirt freshman) as a close second.

Junior Malcolm Sheppard finished fourth in the SEC with 7.5 sacks. Safety Matt Harris, a junior and son of legendary Dallas Cowboy Cliff Harris, finished fourth on the team in tackling despite starting only four games (he did play in all 12).

On special teams, we'll need to show some definite improvement. Let's hope this was just a sophomore slump for Alex Tejada who has a big-time leg, but missed a lot of field goals this season when he was the starter (just 4-9 on FG attempts this season). We'll have to replace punter Jeremy Davis who finished a respectable third in punting average (just over 43 yards per punt), and find some guys who can return kicks and punts.

(Maybe Coach Taylor will be available to join Petrino's staff sometime in the near future)

Coach Petrino had a first year that probably didn't match his expectations or the players' and even a lot of those in the Razorback nation. But, upon further review, with a new system, young players, and what he was left with, Petrino definitely earned a free pass this year. Let's hope that this year's free pass results in marked improvements next season and a bowl trip somewhere other than Shreveport.

Woo Pig Sooie!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Just Because I Couldn't Resist

It's officially December, and Plaxico Burress has accidentally shot himself in the thigh while out at a nightclub on Friday night. Brilliant. And now from the "I couldn't help myself" file...

You know what they say about football players and the need for hand guns...

... You'll shoot your thigh out!

(Take it from Ralphie, he knows)

Friday, November 28, 2008

I Told You So!

There's nothing I like more than being right. And, there's nothing quite like predicting exactly what will happen. I direct you to the post below if you don't believe me. Within that purple box right after the top 10 things I love about Casey Dick you will see it... "When he comes in off the bench Friday afternoon in the Rock to lead a Razorback comeback for the ages - I told you so!"

Casey Dick threw a perfect strike on 4th and 1 to London Crawford with 21 seconds remaining to tie the game at 30-30. Alex Tejada's extra point was true and the Razorbacks completed a comeback for the ages at the Rock on Friday afternoon.

(Nice grab, London)

Scene 1:

Enter Nathan Dick. N. Dick looks lights out the first few possessions of the game and leads the Razorbacks (along with some outstanding running by Dennis Johnson) to an early 14-3 lead.

Second quarter: All LSU as the Razorbacks go in a hole and end up trailing 23-14 at the half.

Third quarter: LSU opens up the second half with a TD to go up 30-14 with 13 minutes to go in the third.

Enter Casey Dick in his final game as an Arkansas Razorback. Dick's perfect 46 yard strike to Jarius Wright brings the Razorbacks to within 30-21. End of the 3rd.

Fourth quarter: Alex Tejada makes a FG with 12:33 to go to make it 30-24.

The Razorback defense locks in and forces a LSU punt. The Razorbacks turn the ball over on downs and LSU has a chance to run out the clock with a few first downs.

After only one first down, the Hogs force a punt and get the ball back with just over 2 minutes remaining. Casey Dick makes one fourth down conversion on a completion to Carlton Salters and then faced with another fourth down, throws the winning strike to Crawford with 21 seconds to go.

Casey's final stat line of his career (in only one half of play):

18/29 197yds, 2 touchdowns 0 interceptions

When the final pass of your collegiate career is a 24 yard touchdown pass on fourth and one to beat LSU, I'd say that's one hell of a way to end your career. Big ups to you, Casey. Big ups.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Friday At The Rock

From the oh, just great department: Looks like Michael Smith will not be playing in the LSU game and both Antwain Robinson and Earnest Mitchell will be out for the second week in a row for violating team rules.

After a "successful" first game, it appears that Nathan Dick will get his second start of his career while big brother Casey comes off the bench. Casey is only 240 yards short of the all-time passing record at Arkansas, but that will be hard to get if Nathan plays even reasonably well. A roller coaster ride indeed it has been for Casey who suits up for the final time as an Arkansas Razorback.

Of course, the final game against LSU brings to an end what I had hoped was just the beginning of a "Dick Dynasty" back when I wrote about the two brothers battling for the starting job before the 2007 season. Casey will move on to wedded bliss and Nathan will return next year to battle Ryan Mallet for the starting spot.

In honor of this being Casey Dick's final game, I salute him with my own "10 Things I Love About Casey"...

(Don't think Casey was too worried about his quarterback rating in this picture)

Oh, and a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours tomorrow. The Hog Tale will return on Friday morning with a preview of our ass-whippin' of LSU...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Because Friday After Thanksgiving 2007 Was Awesome

Let's relive the glory of a year ago, because frankly, that's all we have this year... last year...

Monday, November 24, 2008

Gay Elf Football Coaches on the Loose

Proof that all of the SEC West coaches (except Petrino) are gay...

Send your own eCards

The Return of Toby

If you watch "The Office," I felt like Michael Scott after learning of Toby's return (Toby, of course, being the mildy annoying and pathetic office HR rep who Michael hates with a passion) on Saturday afternoon listening to the end of the Razorbacks game at Mississippi State. There was a lot of 'No! No! Please God! No! No! God! No!' that happened when Tejada missed a game tying 46 yard field goal as the clock expired dooming the Razorbacks to their three point loss.

The Hogs are now 4-7 and host LSU in Little Rock on Friday where either a 5-7 or 4-8 season awaits. Either way, it appears that 20% of you were right with your pre-season prediction. I left the poll up to the right all season just to see how well The Hog Tale voting public would do and the 5-7 or worse was second highest among all voters.

All I have to say about that is: way to jinx the Hogs you pessimistic boobs! Obviously, the lack of support for a great year on this poll was the main reason for the Hogs' shortcomings so far. I can only hope you can cope with the blood on your hands for this travesty of a season you all have created! Thanks for nothing!

Now that I have vented, I will move on to LSU. Thank you for listening.

And if it makes any of you die-hards happier, you can get a free poster on Friday if you are one of the first 20,000 through the gates at War Memorial.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Why? Why?

(Why Hogs? Why Hogs?)

Not to go all Nancy Kerrigan on you today, but whyyyy? whyyyy? Why did the Hogs start out with a 14-0 lead, blow it, comeback, recover an onside kick, and then miss a game tying field goal as the clock expired?

Well, there are numerous answers and reasons for it, non of which I really care to even go into after that embarassment yesterday in Starkhell, Mississippi.
Instead, let's talk about the Hog basketball team which... aw, hell, even that didn't go good at Missouri State last night.

Hey, Nathan Dick was pretty good, huh?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Bobby Petrino and the Temple of Croom: The Arkansas - Mississippi State Preview

(He no nuts! He crazy!

Arkansas 4-6 (1-5) at Mississippi State 3-7 (1-5)

Kickoff: 1:30 pm
Line: pick 'em
(Horrible photo shop brought to you at no additional charge today)

It's the Hogs once every two years trip to Starkhell, Mississippi to take on Croom and the Dogs in a game of little national importance tomorrow. I'll even go out on a limb and say no national importance. The big cameras and all the talking heads will be in Norman, Oklahoma, tomorrow to see three Heisman Trophy candidates take the field in a crucial BCS and Big 12 matchup.

If you take out the screw-job that was the Ole Miss game and the total meltdown that was the Kentucky game then this Razorback squad is 6-4 instead of 4-6 and trying to play it's way somewhere other than Shreveport.

No use crying over spilled referee guts at this point as the Hogs make their last true road trip of the year to take on Ninja Croom.

The Final Analysis:

Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Mississippi State is bad. Terrible. Tennessee-awful. The Hogs should win this one. Hey Croom, you call him Dr. Petrino! I'm sticking with my original 31-30 preseason pick in favor of the Hogs.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Gloom and Croom: The Hog Tale Interviews Sylvester Croom

Once again, The Hog Tale is proud to bring you Mississippi State head football coach / part-time ninja, Sylvester Croom.

Hog Tale: Coach, thanks for stopping by and taking some time to be with us. I see you are still perfecting your ninja skills.

HT: What do you make of your first SEC matchup with Coach Petrino?

HT: There are a lot of restless fans in Starville calling for your head. How does that affect you?

HT: Still, Coach Croom, it must get old having to deal with unhappy fans and unhappy boosters and losing week in and week out?

HT: Wow. You're really not holding anything back. Do you think it's wise to call your doubters "racist, redneck crackers?"

HT: Well coach, you seem supremely confident in both your coaching and your ninja skills. It doesn't seem that you fear anything or anyone.

HT: Coach, I know your time is valuable, and we really appreciate you stopping by again this year. We wish you the best of luck in finishing the season and in your future endeavour as a first class ninja.

Once again our thanks to one of the most interesting figures in the SEC - MSU coach Sylvester Croom.

Tomorrow: The Arkansas - Mississippi State Preview

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Mississippi State Week - Bulldogs Are Boring

The one thing with Mississippi State is that they have the worst blogs and/or websites in the SEC. I can barely find any MSU websites and can't really find any blogs other than the updated-every-so-often Mississippi State Sports Blog which does a decent job. But for me, I'm too frantic and I need some pretty pictures or some video to occupy my sight line on occasion, and that blog doesn't have any so I don't spend any time there at all.

MSU just plain makes it hard to hate them, because there are not enough stupid sites out there with people writing idiotic things about others, and MSU usually sucks at the big sports in general. There are always exceptions from year to year, but in general we all know that MSU is no power player in the collegiate sports world.

Now, if you've read this site any, then you know that it is pretty much 100% truth and completely impartial when it comes to the Razorbacks and their opponents.
I say all of this because it just makes for a really boring week leading up to the MSU game. In fact, I'd like to trade MSU to some other conference for somebody else that will liven up the SEC West some more.

The SEC West has Petrino, Nutt, Miles, Saban, Tuberville, and... Croom? All five of the other coaches on this side either lead with bigger than life egos, crazy personalities, or have polarizing histories that drive endless hours of debate on the radio and this crazy passing phase known as the internet.

(It's pretty much gloom and Croom once again in Starkville this season)

Like I did last year, I'll be giving head coach Sylvester Croom a chance to liven things up a bit here in the Hog Tale when I get him for an interview via the magical web satellite powers we possess here. Check back tomorrow sometime for the amazing Hog Tale interview with the Croomer.

Monday, November 17, 2008

A Few Odds and Ends

Congrats to the Hog basketball team on their season opening win over Southeastern Louisiana. Although it was a tough, hard fought, overtime win, we all know the Hogs are young and expectations around these parts are relatively low (except for here, where I just got through predicting a 29-0 season).

A quick summary of the game Friday night:

The good:
Michael Washington's 30 points and 14 rebounds
Rotnei Clarke's 5-8 3pt. shooting
Courtney Fortson's 7 assists
Michael Sanchez' 12 rebounds

The bad:
Courtney Fortson's 6 turnovers
Stefan Welsh's 2-9 shooting

The ugly:
Michael Washington and Courtney Fortson's combined 15-29 from the Freethrow line
The Hogs' overall 57% FT shooting
The Hogs' 2nd half defense which allowed SE Louisiana to shoot 53% from the field

But the ugly could have been worse, we could have been these guys...

(Nooooo! Not again!)

Last year, Gardner-Webb. This year, VMI.

Finally, a belated congratulations to former Arkansas pitcher and current Little Rock resident Cliff Lee on a well deserved AL Cy Young. Lee went from last year's "I think Cliff Lee gave up baseball and is living on some remote desert island far away from Arkansas, which he was never from anyway" to this year's "That's our boy right there! Cliff Lee is from, and lives in Arkansas and is the best damn pitcher in the American league! Suck on that high cheese!"

(Atta boy, Cliffy)

Friday, November 14, 2008

To The Hoop, Ya'll - The 2008-09 Razorback Basketball Preview

Feeling fairly confident with the Razorback football team being a solid two touchdown favorite over Bye Week tomorrow, I am choosing instead to focus on Razorback basketball today as Pelphrey's crew opens up the season tonight at home against Southeastern Louisiana.

I promised you a basketball preview, and if nothing else, I don't let my faithful readers down (very often anyway). In similar fashion to my football previews, I am giving you a game by game breakdown of the upcoming basketball season for the new-look Razorbacks. My totally 100% realistic preview is as follows:


14th - Southeastern Lousiana
Led by President-elect Barack Obama’s inspirational pre-game talk, the Razorbacks begin the season 1-0. In disguise, President-elect Obama watches the game and entertains the crowd as the new Razorback mascot known as "Razorbarack"

(Is it "Big Red" or is it "Razorbarack?")

20th - California-Davis
The Cali boys surf into Fayetteville and then are promptly wiped out of the building by the young Razorbacks. Michael Washington records 20 blocked shots in the win.

22nd at Missouri State
The first road test of the season is a success as freshman Rotnei Clark rains three pointers from 25 feet and beyond. In all, the mad bomber drills 14 threes for the now 3-0 Razorbacks.

26th at South Alabama
Coach Pelphrey returns to his former team and is greeted with boos and lobs of batteries from the crowd. Pelphrey switches places with Stephen Cox and suits up and scores 36 by himself against some of his former players and then stares down the crowd as he leaves with a big Razorback victory. Cox is now 1-0 as head coach.

29th - Florida A&M
The Rattlers come to town. Student section throws rubber snakes on the floor after every Razorback dunk. In all, 112 fake snakes are collected by the end of the game and despite the six technical fouls the crowd picked up, the Hogs still win this one by 50. The event inspires Samuel L. Jackson to write and star in his new movie, "Snakes At a Game."

November record: 5-0


3rd – Texas Southern
In order to draw fans to this massacre, Coach Pelphrey emulates Will Ferrell and promises to wrestle a bear in a cage at halftime.

(Coach Pelphrey defeats the bear just like the Hogs whip up on Texas Southern)

10th – North Carolina Central
Stephan Welsh goes for 15 points and 15 assists in this easy win. Welsh remarks after the game that since the Hogs don’t actually get to revenge the humiliating loss to UNC in last year’s NCAA second round game that this game will have to do. Tells North Carolina Central players to go back to North Carolina and warn the rest of the state.

17th – Austin Peay
Coach Pelphrey instructs the team to let Austin Peay score the first three baskets of the game so that the fans that traveled to support the team will initiate the “Let’s Go Peay! Let’s Go Peay!” chant. It makes Pelphrey giggle some before he gets the team refocused and the Hogs put on 30 unanswered points on way to a dominating win.

20th – Stephen F. Austin
Stephen F. Austin shows up to play resembling a small high school team...

(Razorbacks win easily over Stephen F. Austin)

27th – Northwestern State

Just two days after Christmas, Coach Pelphrey elects to let his players remain on Christmas vacation with their families and instead recruits some local YMCA talent to suit up instead. Thanks to superior coaching, the Hogs get 28 points and 16 rebounds from Joe the Plummer and beat Northwestern State by 20.

30th – Oklahoma

Blake Griffin comes to town for the Spooners who are one of the favorites this season in the Big 12 conference, also known as the SEC's red-headed stepchild. Michael Sanchez punches Griffin in the face in the game's first minute knocking both players out of the game. After the game Sanchez remarks that "Griffin looks much better now with that crooked nose." Arkansas wins going away 105-75.

December record: 6-0


3rd at North Texas
Coach Pelphrey and the team wonder why they were ever scheduled to play at North Texas, because Texas sucks. Another easy Razorback win. "I don't know why we had to come play here, because I hate this state," said Coach Pelphrey after the game, "But I love any five star recruits that want to come play here!"

6th – Texas
Matthew McConaughey shows up drunk to the game to cheer on UT. He gets a technical foul for puking on the floor midway through the first half. Just returning from his one game suspension for punching Oklahoma's Blake Griffin, Michael Sanchez punches McConaughey in the face for throwing up on our floor.

(McConaughey brings his loud Texas attitude and metrosexual looks with him to Bud Walton arena to see his Horns get it handed to them)

10th – Mississippi State
"Free Taco night" at Bud Walton arena turns messy (literally). A horrible officiating call just two minutes into the game ends up resulting in hundreds of tacos being lobbed onto the floor and a 10 minute ciesta follows.

14th – at Ole Miss
Houston Nutt shows up to the game, and gets into pre-game fist fight with Coach Pelphrey for no apparent reason. When asked after the Razorback win about the altercation, Coach Pelphrey just says, "He knows why I beat his ass, and he knows he had it comin'."

17th – at Florida
Tim Tebow shows up to the game carrying his bogus Heisman Trophy with him. Tebow sits in one seat and his trophy has its own seat. Former Florida Gator Joakim Noah also shows up after receiving a leave of absence from his current team the Chicago Bulls, who admit that they wasted their draft choice on him. Hogs 120 Gators 60.

24th – Auburn
Warhogs. Coach Petrino makes an appearance at the game and sits on the bench next to Coach Pelphrey diagramming plays all night long. Every play works and Petrino automatically receives a pay raise.

29th – Alabama
No Nick Saban. No problem. On a gut feeling, Pelphrey starts Stephen Cox who had only played about 10 minutes all year. Cox goes 10 for 10 from 3 point land and finishes with 40 points in a 10 point win over the Bammers. The Bama cheerleaders and Razorback cheerleaders get in a huge fight at halftime making for the best halftime show in the history of basketball.

31st at LSU
LSU sucks this year. Most of the Razorback players on the bench choose to watch movies on their ipods during the game and eat popcorn.

January record: 8-0


4th – Tennessee
On "Frank Broyles Bobblehead giveaway night," nearly 20,000 fans get their bobbleheads moving simultaneously during the final minutes of a close contest. The sight of Frank's bobbling head freaks out the Tennessee players as they cannot focus enough to overcome the Razorback crowd and the Broyles bobbleheads. Another Hog win.

7th at Mississippi State
Sylvester Croom shows up and gives the Mississippi State basketball team a pep talk before the game, and just like his football team it does little to help. Razorbacks win this one 140-18.

11th at Auburn
Coach Pel is kicked out of the game after arguing with an official that Auburn does indeed pay referees more than anywhere else in the SEC. Assistant coach Rob Evans takes over. The Razorbacks break out the picket fence offense and make sure not to stand around watching the paint dry.

14th – Kentucky
The sea of blue invades undefeated Razorback territory only to get the hell beat out of them. Praising John Pelphrey as "the best coach in the history of coaching" Billy Gilispie is thankful to leave Arkansas was only a 25 point loss. Montrell McDonald scores 35 for the undefeated Hogs.

18th – LSU
No more Coach John Brady. Not nearly as much fun for opposing fans. The Razorback band relocates right behind the LSU bench for this game. And when I say right behind, I mean on the floor one row behind the bench. The band rips through renditions of "It's Raining Men" and "YMCA" over and over during every time out making it near impossible for Coach Trent Johnson to communicate with his team.

("It's damn tough to win at Arkansas with that band sitting right behind the bench," said a rattled Coach Johnson following the loss)

21st at South Carolina
Winning at South Carolina is always a tough chore, but the Hogs are on such a roll that it doesn't bother anyone on the team when everyone fouls out except for Andre Clark, Michael Sanchez, and Brandon Moore. The three dominate the final five minutes of the game taking down South Carolina.

25th at Alabama
Alabama native Courtney Fortson returns to his home state and scores 15 points, hands out 20 assists, grabs 12 steals, and makes out with half the Alabama cheerleadeing squad during halftime as the Hogs cruise to victory.

February record: 7-0


1st – Georgia (Celebration of the 1994 Nat’l Championship; reunion)
In tribute, Coach Pelphrey sits in the stands, and lets Nolan coach. The Hogs roll up 150 points in 40 minutes of Hell in an easy win over the Dawgs. Nolan instructs the team to run out to midcourt and dance on the halfcourt logo after first basket of the game.

(The return of 40 minutes of hell occurs on March 1st)

4th – Ole Miss
The Razorback faithful continue their booing of Houston Nutt and the official who made the worst call ever from the end of the football game in October even though neither one are at the game. They boo the whole game. Every possession. It's the first ever basketball game in history where the fans booed for all 40 minutes of the game and all 20 minutes during halftime. Despite all the boos, Michael Washington manages to score 30 points in the win.

8th at Vanderbilt
Pelphrey refuses to sit on the baseline where the teams have their benches. He picks up two quick technicals for being out of the coaches' box and receives a fine by the SEC after he paints his own coaches box on the floor near midcourt. It doesn't matter, because Vandy sucks this year and the Razorbacks dominate.

March record: 3-0

Summary: The Hog Tale is high on the hogs, and an undefeated 29-0 regular season is very likely just a few months away.

Razorback Basketball: Where Undefeated Seasons Happen