Monday, June 30, 2008

He's Like the Wind (Only Faster)

In 1987, Patrick Swayze sang his way into America's eardrums with a little ditty called "She's Like the Wind" from the motion picture "Dirty Dancing" (nobody puts Baby in a corner).

Yesterday, in Eugene, Oregon, former U of A stud Tyson Gay updated the Swayze hit with his new soon to be titled single called "He's Like the Wind (Only Faster)."

Gay blew away the competition at the U.S. Olympic trials turning in a wind aided world record of 9.68 seconds in the 100 meter dash. The world record apparently won't count because there was too much wind.

I would like to argue that Gay was running faster than the wind, and that the wind actually slowed Gay down and the record should stand.

In fact, reports surfaced after the race that the wind was pissed that Gay was running faster than it, and vows revenge in Beijing.

"People run like the wind. They run against the wind. Cool breezes blow through peoples' hair, but, people don't run faster than the wind! It's usually that simple!" exclaimed a spokesman for Mother Nature. "If I hadn't of seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it," he said, "But it was very evident today that Tyson Gay beat the wind's ass today."

"On behalf of Mother Nature and the rest of nature's elements, I'd like to apologize for the poor performance of the wind today, and the fact that was raised that the elements may be able to be tamed by humans. Our organization still classifies that statement as false despite Gay's whipping of the wind today."

The spokesman concluded by saying, "The wind has gotten a little too big for its own good over the years, and was humbled today by the fastest thing on the planet - Tyson Gay. Congratulations to Mr. Gay, but the wind will have its revenge in Beijing."

Walter Dix and Darvis Patton were the other two qualifiers for the U.S. in the 100 meters. Here's hoping for a Gay-Patton-Dix medal sweep in China later this summer.

The fastest man on the planet is:




Saturday, June 28, 2008

Nugs & Northern Iowa

Well, the Denver Nuggets pulled off the heist of the draft stealing Sonny Weems away from the Chicago Bulls on draft night. Weems was part of a three team trade after the Bulls had selected him.
Chicago acquired the draft rights to some piece of trash from Turkey known as Omer Asik (6'11" center) who was originally selected 36th by Portland.
The Nugs traded its 2009 second round pick to Portland, which also received a pair of future picks from Chicago.
Most likely Sonny Weems will now be Denver's #1 option on offense as Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson will likely become role players or be traded.

A new era in Arkansas track and field is officially underway now as the U of A hired Northern Iowa's Chris Bucknam to succeed the retired legend, John McDonnell.

I'm giving Bucknam about 72 hours to produce some sort of championship before I begin a campaign to have him removed. I think that's only fair since McDonnell seemed to average one national championship every 36-48 hours or so.

Bucknam spent 25 seasons at Northern Iowa compiling 35 conference championships and six top 20 finishes in NCAA indoor and outdoor championships.

Good luck, Coach Bucknam.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

D-Mac Petitions NFL To Wear Infinity Symbol

"I want to be the first player in NFL history to wear a symbol instead of a number. It's pretty obvious - I plan to run for infinity on NFL defenses."

- Darren McFadden

"I ain't gonna play. That's what's going to happen," stated McFadden when asked what he would do if his petition to wear the infinity sign on the back of his jersey was turned down. "I'm serious, I ain't playing football in America if I'm gonna get treated like a second class citizen! I'll go play in the damn Europe NFL or the Arena Football League, or do they still have the XFL anymore?"

Former Razorback All-American, first round draft pick, rookie sensation, future Hall of Famer, future all-time rushing leader, future all-time touchdowns record holder, future Hollywood action star, future ruler of all creation, Oakland Raider Darren McFadden is a little perturbed.

The greatest thing to come along since sliced wheat bread, McFadden was upset when he found out that the NFL restricted running backs to wear a number between 20 and 49, so he has petitioned the NFL to let him wear the infinity symbol on the back of his jersey instead.

"I wasn't too upset by not getting to wear my number five," said McFadden, "But I'm not going to lie. I'll be pissed if they don't let me wear the symbol instead. These dumb ass linebackers in the NFL are going to think it's an eight anyway as they're lying on the ground looking at my backside after I run past them."

When it was mentioned that for a brief time, the musician Prince went by the following symbol, McFadden had this to say:

"That was cool when Prince was just a symbol. I might change my name to an infinity symbol if the NFL don't let me wear it as my number. If I change it to my name legally, they will have to put it on the back of my jersey then, right?"

McFaddy then proceeded to sing his own version of "Purple Rain"...
"D-Dawg pain. D-Dawg pain.
I only want to see you linemen suffer D-Dawg pain"

For the time being, the future musical superstar known currently as Humanity Advanced is going with the number 20 as you can read on his blog, but don't count out the symbol just yet. Here's hoping NFL commissioner Roger Goodell makes a wise choice and grants McFadden's request. It's not like he's requesting this...

(Someday this freak of nature may simply be known as the NFL Hall of Famer formerly known as Darren McFadden)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Upcoming NBA Draft

Is there anything more exciting this time of year than all the mock NBA drafts that come out and are updated daily? I say no (sarcastically of course). My only real interest is where former Arkansas stud Sonny Weems ends up. It appears from most sources that the 6'6" college slam dunk champion is going in the NBA draft on Thursday evening somewhere in the second round. Here's a few links if you love this sort of thing: has Sonny to the Indiana Pacers at #41 likes Sonny at #43 to the Sacremento Kings

Chad Ford at is sending Sonny to the Miami Heat (via Orlando) at #52

The NBA draft guru has Sonny headed to Utah to join former Hog Ronnie Brewer at #46

The Sportsbank likes Weems to go at #57 to San Antonio

And, finally, right here on the Hog Tale, is my mock draft:

With the number one pick in the 2008 NBA draft, the Chicago Bulls select... Sonny Weems, University of Arkansas

#2 Miami Heat - Derrick Rose, Memphis University

#3 Minnesota Timberwolves - Michael Beasley, Kansas State University

#4 Seattle Supersonics - Darrien Townes, University of Arkansas

#5 Memphis Grizzlies - Stephen Hill, University of Arkansas

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Totally Non-Razorback Related Post

Since I began this site last summer, it has been for the general amusement and information on Razorback sports and Razorback athletes. But, I have to buck tradition today to say congratulations to the Boston Celtics. Having grown up a Celtics fan, it was with much enjoyment last night that I got to witness the crushing of the hated Kobe Bryant led L.A. Lakers for the Celtics' 17th NBA championship. The championship was of course the first since 1986, so I savored every last second on tv and on the internet today.

And you know that somewhere, Red was puffin' on a big ol' championship stogie.

I thought it was cool seeing KG and Bill Russell embracing after the game and watching Paul Pierce accept the MVP trophy and just enjoying the moment as KG, Pierce, and Ray Allen can now all lay claim to a NBA championship. I thought KG's head might explode from all the screaming/crying/screaming/yelling that he did during the post game celebration. Ray Ray was unbelievable in the finals. I'm glad Pierce won the MVP, but I would have had no argument had they given it to Allen instead. The man can flat out shoot the rock.

Here's hoping I don't have to wait another 22 years for a Celtics championship. In fact, I'd love to see a repeat with the Celtics beating the Lakers again next year...

Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.!

You Have Two Days

In case you weren't aware, Coach Pelphrey established a charity called "Pel's Pals" which was established in 2007 in memory of an infant son the Pelphreys lost when he was an assistant coach at Florida. As a fund raiser for "Pel's Pals", which helps out other children's charities financially, you can bid on ebay to play golf in a foursome with Coach Pelphrey and Coach Petrino at the July 2nd pro-am for the LPGA P&G Beauty NW Arkansas Championship July 3-6.

So, you still have time. You can play some golf with Coach Pelphrey and Coach Petrino, and all you have to do is be the highest bidder on ebay. At posting time, the current bid was $5,000 (tax deductible of course), but there is still two days to go before bidding closes.

So, pony out some jack for a worthy cause, and good luck!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What's Love Got To Do With It?

I hate to steal from Tina Turner, but the headline just kind of stuck as I've finally managed to getting around to big time recruit Cruz Williams' "decision" to not come to the University of Arkansas and instead go to Louisiana Tech. The 6'5", 4.4 40 yard dash receiver had this to say:

"It hit me a couple of months ago — it just wasn't feeling the same. I thought Arkansas would be my main choice, but when I got there I wasn't feeling the love, so it's like, 'What's the use?'"

The article that quote comes from is hilarious on so many levels.

Let's start with this whole no love quote, because everybody that pays any attention to Razorback football knows that Cruz is not coming to Petrino's wide open, wide receiver's wet dream passing attack because he did not meet entrance requirements into the University of Arkansas. He probably wouldn't be "feeling the love" at Texas Tech either if he was born and raised a Red Raider fan in Lubbock. Stupid thing to say, Cruz.

Let's take a look at this other gem-of-a-quote from Williams:

"I always told myself that Tech is a real good school, academically, and they have a nice football program. If I was going to go to school outside Arkansas, it was going to be at Tech."

Yeah, me too. If I was a four star receiver with a whole host of division one schools hot on my trail and the academics to go anywhere, I'd go with La Tech too, because we all know that La Tech is just a wide receiver pipeline to the NFL!
(In all fairness to Tech, I did a little research here, and there have been a few decent receivers to come out of La Tech like Troy Edwards (1999, seven NFL seasons with the Steelers, Jags, Rams, and Lions), Johnathan Holland (2007, Oakland) Roger Carr (1974, ten years in the NFL mostly with the Colts), and Pat Tilley (1976, 11 years with the St. Louis Cardinals). But, four fairly legit NFL receivers in 30 something years does not a pipeline make. I'm sure Cruz will buck the odds though and be the next Terrell Owens.

Even more funny is that Williams was never officially recruited by La Tech and he did his own research "on the internet" to find out about Tech.

Finally, let's say you are a big-time recruit at wide receiver and you can go about anywhere you want. I don't know about you, but if it were me, besides checking out the coaches and the academics, I'd really want to know what kind of QB I'd have throwing me the ball next year. Let's see what Cruz has to say about that:

"I haven't heard too much about the quarterbacks, but if a quarterback can throw the ball, he can throw the ball. If you can't, you can't. Put me in the game with any QB and I can make a play. Throw the ball my way, and I'm going to go get it."

Knowledge of La Tech's QB's: Zero
Confidence in self to make plays: 10

OK, Hog Tale readers, here you go, I'm going to drop some La Tech QB knowledge on you. So, it's very possible you will know more than Williams does about his own QBs.

La Tech's starting QB, Zac Champion (kudos for the name), graduated this past season leaving:
Junior Michael Mosely (18 games played in two seasons, 422 career passing yards, 3 TDs, 1 Int.)
Redshirt Sophomore Ross Jenkins (1 game played, 26 passing yards)
New recruit Colby Cameron from California.

Now, that is a stacked QB position! Have fun, Cruz, diving for balls five yards to the either side of you and getting your ribs cracked by middle linebackers jumping for balls thrown two feet too high.

The moral of this story is basically you keep your mouth shut and just admit that you're not going where you want to go because you didn't get your work done in the classroom. That you've learned a valuable lesson, and that you're going to make the best of the situation you're in and that you're excited to be going to Louisiana Tech, love the coaches, blah, blah, blah. Don't make up lies to make yourself look better when everyone can see right through them. Good luck, Cruz. But, from the sound of things, you probably won't need it. Go make a play, now.

The most famous La Tech Bulldogger of course would be this man...

(Superl Bowl champion, announcer, and actor Terry Bradshaw proves you can make it big coming out of La Tech. Now, if only Cruz had the blonde bomber throwing him the ball the next four years)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Bye Bye Freddie

Linebacker Freddie Fairchild was dismissed from the team on Wednesday stemming from battery charges in March involving Freddie and a female he had been involved with for about a year.
Fairchild was Arkansas' third leading tackler last season, but his football career at the U of A is over. Freddie plead not guilty and his trial is set for June 18th in Fayetteville.
The loss of Fast Freddie depletes an already thin linebacking core for the Razorbacks.

So, I was browsing through the magazine section last night at the grocery store and was surprised to see Athlon's and Lindy's with pre-season publications out. I guess that's normal, but I just never really think about college football publications until July or early August, but there they were with all of the fantasy football magazines as well.

I briefly looked through both and found that Lindy's has the Hogs finishing 6th in the SEC West and Athlon's has them finishing 5th. I hope both those companies go bankrupt and nobody buys those worthless magazines.

This Day in Revisionist Razorback History

June 12, 2000

Arkansas left hander Cliff Lee throws back to back no-hitters on the same day leading the Razorback baseball team to its third consecutive College World Series Championship. Lee throws a total of 178 pitches and strikes out a combined 37 LSU hitters between the two games. Announcer Chuck Barrett calls it the most unbelievable pitching performance in the history of baseball, and leads the crowd in a chant of "LSU Sucks! LSU Sucks!" as the Razorbacks secured the championship trophy.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Links and NBA Finals Rumblings

A happy Wednesday to you. June and July will pretty much suck for content on this site, and I'll just apologize beforehand for that. But, until they decide Razorback football practice should start in June or July, there just won't be too much to speak about on the Razorback front. Instead, I bring you some lame Razorback links and my non-Razorback take on Games two and three of the NBA finals.

Junior Logan Forsythe was taken 46th in this year's MLB draft by the San Diego Padres...

The track team is set to begin competing in the 2008 NCAA track championships beginning today at Drake Field. Coach John McDonnell is set to hang up his coaching shoes following this final meet.
McDonnell's unbelievable stats:
42 NCAA titles,
5 NCAA triple crowns
84 conference titles
21 conference triple crowns
185 athletes earning 652 All-America awards.

Arkansas Sports 360's Chris Bahn had a little chat with Coach Bobby Petrino...

Celtics - Lakers Game 2 Recap:

Slow start, things get better, feeling good, feeling real good! texting my Laker buddy some serious smack about how bad his team is getting its ass handed to them... laughing everytime Leon Powe gets a dunk... making fun of Pau Gasol... starting to feel a little queasy... heart rate speeds up, heart stops... defibulator gets heart beating again when Pierce makes two free throws... Celts win. I'm happy.

Celtics - Lakers Game 3 Recap:

Just about what I expected, but the only thing that shocked me was that the Lakers only shot 12 more free throws than the Celts. I figured it would be more like 20 after Phil Jackson's whiny post game press conference from game 2. Pierce sucked. KG was pretty much a non-factor on the offensive end until the second half. Ray played great and the Celts had a legitimate chance to win this one. Hope it doesn't come back to haunt them.

(Bill, your son sucks, and he's wearing the wrong colors anyway)

Friday, June 6, 2008

Humanity Advanced Getting Ungodly Amount of Money

(That looks like a 60 million dollar smile to me)

The best running back to ever walk the planet inked his first professional contract late Thursday night with da Raidaz for a cool 60 mil over 6 years. Twenty-six of that 60 is guaranteed money. The Raiders got a real bargin if you ask me considering Matt "NFL Bust" Ryan is getting 72 mil over 6 years and 34 guaranteed. If I were McFaddy, I'd be thinking long and hard about ditching my agent for getting short changed on the deal.

McFadden is supposedly splitting time with Justin Fargas in the Raiders' backfield. I predict the first time McFadden busts one for about 80 yards and stiff arms a safety into the thirteenth row of McAfee Coliseum that Justin Fargas will become just another jersey milling around on the sidelines cracking jokes and eating hotdogs when the cameras aren't looking.
(As a side note, if it's McAfee Coliseum, do fans get some sort of guarantee that they won't catch a virus while inside the stadium? I think that's only fair if they're going to spend the kind of jack they have to for tickets these days.)

As a completely non-Razorback side-note (though Laker Derek Fisher is a former UALR stud), good job to the C's last night taking down the Minneapolis Lakers. I hate the Lakers. Here's hoping I get to see the replay of the clothesline below 800 more times before the Celts wrap up this series, and maybe the Celts could put in Tony Allen for a few minutes to give Kobe one of these during the series.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Two And Bar-B-Q

The Diamond Hogs' (34-24) season came crashing to an end this past weekend as they lost to Pepperdine 4-3 in the first game and then lost to the host team Stanford 5-1 in an elimination game on Saturday. I hate the west coast (unless I'm vacationing on a beach somewhere).

Former Razorback Joe Johnson is one of a select group of Americans apparently not too worried about gas prices. Check out his new rig.