Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Dick Battle

Big brother Casey Dick (#11) is the current 1st team QB and my pre-season 1st team All-SEC selection...

Little punk brother Nathan (#10) is the freshman trying to outshine big brother Casey and win the starting job. Nathan is my pre-season pick for 1st Team All Freshman in the SEC and 2nd Team All-SEC.

Coming into this season, the QB job has been all Casey Dick's until... little brother started trying to show him up.

"All those years of wedgies and noogies that Casey gave me when we were growing up have built up inside of me and now I want his job. I want to see him sit on the bench and cry like the little sissy he is," said Nathan, "I'm taller, better looking, smarter, younger, faster, am a better QB than Casey, and have had better looking girlfriends over the years as well. I'm tired of just beating his butt at Madden Football. I'm going to do the real thing now."

The Dicks are the best QB brother combo to come along since Peyton and Eli Manning and it appears there will be a "Dick Dynasty" in full effect for at least the next four years at the U of A (University of Arkansas or University of Awesomeness whichever you prefer).

"Nathan is a little misguided," said big brother Casey when asked about the competition for the starting quarterback position, "He's always had an inferiority complex because mom and dad have always loved me more because I didn't wet my bed until I was 15 like him."

I don't care which Dick we end up with at QB because both are better than any other starting QB in the SEC at this point as you can see in my pre-season SEC QB rankings:

1. Casey Dick, Arkansas: He is obviously too good for former high school player of the year Mitch Mustain to stick around. So, by that logic, he is better than the best high school player in the nation in 2005 who is now at USC. Casey could be starting at USC, but why risk losing this year when you're all but guaranteed an undefeated season here?

2. Nathan Dick, Arkansas: Currently big brother's backup, but could easily start at any other SEC school and 95% of the other Division 1A teams. Is likely to have lots of hot chicks following him around by the time his four years are up here.

3. Andre Woodson, Kentucky: I forget Kentucky plays football sometimes. I haven't paid much attention to them since the big fat left hander was there. He now is somewhere in the NFL I think and practicing for a run at the World Hot Dog Eating Championships next summer.

4. Erik Ainge, Tennessee: I don't like anyone that spells their first name wrong and the only thing worse than those home uniforms they wear are the road uniforms they wear.

5. Darren McFadden, Arkansas: He won't get nearly as many passing attempts this season as Dick but he should get enough to throw for about 1,000 yards and 15-20 TDs. If he gets enough passing attempts this season, he could very well end up being 1st Team All-American at Running Back and Quarterback.

Next up will be my SEC preview as the Hogs continue to get ready for the little boys from Troy...

1 comment:

Justin said...

Whew!! Under a lesser wordsmith, that one could have gotten a bit dicey! Kudos on a job well done!