Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Tejada's Leg Illegal?

My numerous inside sources are reporting that Alex Tejada's leg may soon be classified as an illegal weapon of mass destruction. It would be the first ever human body part to be labeled as such (outside of Dirk Diggler's man part). Rumors have swirled that his leg is some sort of bionic creation manufactured by Microsoft's baddest and brightest. I would be inclined to lean that way as well after seeing Tejada routinely knock down 75 and 80 yard field goals into the wind in high school and pre-season practice which has made him the U of A's starting field goal kicker this season according to a statement made by coach Nutt today.

"I feel if we can just get to our own 35 or 40 yard line, we will be in field goal range for Alex so I can afford to be more conservative than I have in the past," said Houston Nutt, "I can't wait to send him out for an 80 yarder to win a game and see the fans reaction when he boots it through with yardage to spare. Good gosh almighty that boy can kick a football!"

When I asked Alex about how far he can kick a football, he just responded that if he were in Denver where the air is light, 90-95 yard field goals would be routine for him.
"As a small child growing up I used to pretend I didn't have any hands or arms for that matter. I would eat, write, read, play basketball, tennis, and soccer with only my feet. And by the way, I was the goalie," said Tejada.

Tejada has also been spotted crushing kegs with his foot and inadvertantly damaging sidewalks and steps with his right foot and leg. Tejada is a no-brainer 1st team All-American this season in my opinion and will help lead the Hogs to their first 12-0 regular season finish.

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