Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Blue and the Flu

OK, boys and girls, let's take a look at some statistics from last night's game. Can you say "stat-is-tics"?

Razorback Statistics:Total Yards: 495
Total Rushing Yards: 338
Mcfadden: 173 yds.
Jones: 133 yds.
Jones: 1 Kickoff return for a touchdown
Alex Tejada 2-2 in field goals
Defense scored 8 points and recovered three fumbles
Time of Possession: 35:13

Final Score: Arkansas 29 Kentucky 42

What the (your choice of words here)?

OK, shake your head again and say...

What the (fill in again with the same or different word)?

I would like to say that there was a black cloud hanging over Reynolds Razorback Stadium yesterday, but all I could see was a Kentucky blue sky instead as the Hogs fell to the Wildcats 42-29 (feel free to shake your head again in complete and utter disbelief if you haven't done it enough the past 24 hours).

Yes, kids, it was like a fairy tale that had two horrific accidents that turned it from a lovely tale to a horrible nightmare instead. We'll call this tale turned nightmare "The Fumble and the Field Goal."

The first part (The Fumble) of our story picks up with the Hogs merrily crusing along with a 20-7 lead (and totaling dominating that Kentucky team) and less than a minute remaining in the first half. With the ball nearing the Kentucky 30 yard line, it appeared the Hogs would at least notch a field goal to end the half. Instead, third team tailback, Michael Smith fumbles and Kentucky linebacker Retard Lindley picks it up and returns it 66 yards for a touchdown and all of a sudden it is 20-14 at halftime instead.

The second part (The Field Goal) of our scary story picks up later in the game with the mighty Razorbacks leading the Wildcats once again, this time by a score of 29-21 with 11 minutes to go in the game. The Hog defense stiffens and forces a 36 yard field goal attempt. Kentucky kicker, Lones Seiber (yes, that's his real name), makes like Leigh Tiffin and pulls it left for the miss. Unfortunately, two Razorback players collide right in front of Seiber and Arkansas' Ryan Powers falls into Seiber for a rouging the kicker call. First down Kentucky. Two plays later, the Cats score pulling to within 29-27 and the momentum carries them to the eventual 42-29 win.

Making matters horribly worse yesterday was that both Darren McFadden and Felix Jones were less than 100% with some sort of virus or influenza bug. Both threw up at one time on the sidelines in the first half. McFadden had to go to the locker room early to take in some fluids or else he probably would have been on the field when Smith fumbled. I'd like to know what other Heisman hopefuls have combined for 306 yards rushing during a game in which they both about died from dehydration.

(On this run, I think McFadden was throwing up and had a 103 degree temperature)

Still, nothing changes in the top two of my Hesiman balloting at this point:
1. Darren McFadden - running for 173 yards while puking with a 109 degree temperature. Even Michael Jordan had to be impressed.
2. Felix Jones - rushing for 133 yards, returning a kickoff for a touchdown, all the while puking with a 108.5 degree temperature. Even Darren McFadden would be impressed
3. Andre Woodson - the guy is just a non-interception machine. Sure he may be a cross-dresser (previous post), but he's good.

One last thing on the game. Bob Davie is horrible! ESPN's color commentator added nothing to this game. He tried to jock D-Mac all night, but we all know he doesn't believe in Razorback magic. Stay away from Arkansas, Bob. You killed the Irish when you were coaching there, and your bad karma killed the Backs on Saturday night!

Well, my pre-season 12-0 prediction now has to be ammended to 10-2*(still with an asterisk for the Alabama screw job). North Texas better just stay home. That would be my advice and words of warning for the Mean Green. I'm looking at my 97-0 prediction from the preseason and thinking that may be a little low after these past two weeks of near misses. More on this division II junior college team, North Texas, later in the week.

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