Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Getting Ready for The Tide

Fact or Fiction? Question of the week:
Blondie's song "The Tide is High" was a tribute to an Alabama football post-game victory party where pounds of marjiuana were consumed.

On a completely side note about Blondie, one must question the soberness or sanity of Blondie when one hears lyrics from her like:
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subarus



Uhhh, huh, huh, uhhh... what?





The best quote from Houston Nutt's weekly press conference:


“All right, Saban… you called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it! You see my straw hat? It says Arkansas Razorbacks! Take a good look at the Troy University game film Saban… ‘cause that’s how you’re gonna end up! The Tide is through, you understand? I see a gay-colored crimson jersey and we crush the man wearin’ it! So run you cur… Run! Tell all the other cur Tide-lovers the Backs are comin’! You tell ‘em I’m coming… and hell’s coming with me, ya hear? Hell’s coming with me!”


OK, I have to mention this. At rollwiththetide.com, they have an online questionnaire for prospective recruits to submit! Are you kidding me? Is the way Saban plans on returning Alabama football to national prominence? I filled mine out (see below) and I encourage you to do the same. You'll get an automated reply that says "Thank you for your submission. An Alabama recruiter will review your information." I can't wait to hear from an Alabama recruiter!

Here's a look at some of the information you get to fill out (and my corresponding answers):
Name: Alabama D. Stroyer
Address: 1 Mean Street, Tideblows, Arkansas
SS#: Stolen from Nick Saban (I can't believe they actually ask for a recruit's social security number. They pulling a credit report too?)
Home Phone: 555-867-5309 (anytime I have to fill in a phone number, I'm always compelled to reference my favortie one-hit wonder - Tommy Tutone. Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?)
I live with: your mom (do mom jokes ever get old? I say no.)
Father’s Name: Joe Namath
Father’s Occupation: Drunk
Father’s Employer: Jim Beam, Inc.
Mother’s Name: Unknown (one night stand)
Mother’s Occupation: Heard she was either a stewardess, hooker, or Alabama Cheerleader or some combination of the three
Offensive Position: Center / Place kicker / anytime I'm bent over
Height/Weight: 4’ 1”, 135 lbs.
40 yard dash: 3.2, 100 meter dash: 8.9
Other sports: Poker, Darts, and Super Techmo Bowl
My academic interests are: Studying the unbelievable freak of nature known as Darren McFadden
High School Name: I Hate Alabama High (IHAH)
My top priorities in choosing a college are: 1. hot chicks 2. beer bong parties 3. a dominating football team like Arkansas
The Alabama students and alums I know are: Joe Namath and Forrest Gump
My favorite hobbies are: researching Bear Bryant and his sponsorship of the KKK
The person that will help me choose a college is: Alabama's favorite son, Taylor Hicks and The Soul Patrol


Wooo!






The 5 schools I plan to visit are: 1. Arkansas 2. Not Alabama 3. Not Alabama 4. Not Alabama 5. Dallas Theological Seminary

Then you just hit the submit button which actually gives the University the authorization to get copies of your transcript! If you accept your mission, please make sure you leave some of your favorites replies in the comments.

Next up: The big Arkansas - Alabama Preview

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