Friday, December 7, 2007

Totally Doaked!

(Give this man a Heisman!)

I am still of the above average mindset that a Mr. Darren McFadden of Fayetteville, Arkansas, is the baddest man in college football. It is my contention that if the Heisman powers-that-be would just put on a "Royal Rumble" ala the WWE, there would be no question as to whom would be the last man standing in the ring at the end of the night. The Heisman awards ceremony in NYC on Saturday will feature McFadden and three clowns also known as Tim Tebow, Chase Daniel, and Colt Brennan.

(It's McFadden with a chair to the head of Tebow! And our 2007 Heisman Trophy winner... Darren McFadden!)

The stupid Heisman Poll at is still projecting crack-smoking Tim Tebow to win.

(Daniel, Tebow, and Brennan)

Some other various honors of distinction...

McFadden won the Doak Walker award as the nation's best running back for the second year in a row. He is the first since Ricky Williams to win the award in back to back years.
McFadden won the Walter Camp Player of the Year award as the nation's best collegiate football player.
Jonathan Luigs was given the Rimington Trophy as the nation's most outstanding center. This dude can flat out center!

In an un-related trophy note, Kansas football coach Mark Mangino won the Home Depot Coach of the Year award and promptly ate the award before the show was even over.

"These shows are way too long," said Mangino, "and I needed something to fill my belly! Also, we don't really have a football trophy case at the University, just a basketball one, and I didn't want to see this trophy stuffed in a closet somewhere."

Mangino also ate the Stanley Tools Breakout Team of the Year Award that was given to his team for its' 11-1 regular season record which upset a lot of the players and coaches, but didn't upset his stomach at all.

I've done my own polling and this is what I've found:

*A slight majority of the voters for Heisman are complete idiots (not to be confused with those voters who are only partial idiots).
*Danny Weurffel fits into the moron category.
*The Doak Walker and Walter Camp Award voters should get to also name the Heisman trophy winner.
*Tim Tebow's family would vote for D-Mac to win if they had votes.
*Samuel L. Jackson is conceding his badass status and bestowing it upon D-Mac.

(Badass #1 pre-McFadden. #2 Now.)

(Please don't give the Heisman to this man, Tim Tebow)

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