Sunday, December 9, 2007

Tebow Wins Heisman, Fans Disown McFadden

Worst Heisman acceptance speech in history also goes to... Tim Tebow!

(I'd like to thank my third cousin's wife and thank my first grade P.E. teacher and I can't forget to thank my dog named Sparky that died 12 years ago, and I would like to thank my drug dealer and my Philippine prostitute friends and a big thank you to my gay teammates, most of whom are on the offensive line...)

So what of your 51 overall touchdowns and your 22 rushing touchdowns and your second best passer rating, because your acceptance speech sucked!

Some fans disowning McFadden?...

The craziness of Arkansas fans seem to be hitting a new high. After the presentation was over, McFadden had this to say:
"... I love all my fans back home, and I know they love me. I don't think they're going to disown me because I didn't win the Heisman."

Well, Little Rock fan Jimmy Bob McPortley disagreed:
"I'm mad as hell at D-Mac for finishing second. I'm tired of all this runner-up crap and I hope McFadden goes pro because I'm tired of his runner-up attitude. We can do better than second place in the Heisman voting at the University of Arkansas. I think if Felix (Jones) comes back next year that he will win the Heisman. Good riddance, D-Mac! Consider yourself officially disowned!"

When reminded that McFadden did win the Doak Walker Trophy for the second consecutive year as college football's best running back, McPortley said:

"I don't give a flying pig's ass about no Doak Walking award! The Heisman is the only thing people care about! The Boat Walker award is like being the vice president. Who the hell remembers that stuff?"

Another fan is in the process of hiring a plane to fly a banner around Fayetteville proclaiming: "0 for 2 in the Heisman race. Take away McFadden's scholarship now!"

And yet another disgruntled Hog fan went so far as to say that McFadden wasn't welcome back in Fayetteville anytime soon saying:

"His stuff will be packed in boxes and shipped to his mom's house in Little Rock. Here's hoping she doesn't put "return to sender" on those boxes. Second place is for losers and we don't want any in Fayetteville!"

The Hog Tale is not disowning the baddest man in the land because of some lame Heisman voters. The man from Krypton will have his revenge in the NFL someday. Instead, we at the Hog Tale are declaring the Heisman Trophy officially dead to us. Take that, Heisman!

The Hog Tale's Official Heisman Ballot (that was mistakenly returned to us by the U.S. Postal Service and not included in the official balloting):
1. Darren McFadden, All-Everything, Arkansas
2. Felix Jones, All-Everything Jr., Arkansas
3. Bobby Reid, Backup QB, Oklahoma State


O'Brien Pundit said...

It's great that Tebow won the Heisman, but I think that it's even greater that he won the Davey O'Brien Award. The Heisman represents only on the field accomplishments, while the O'Brien takes into account how a player performs on AND OFF the field. Now, THAT'S something I can respect.

Irons said...

We did a rundown of Tebow's speech and his night after he won here.