Saturday, March 14, 2009

Things That Annoy Me - March Edition

Back in February, I started the monthly "Things That Annoy Me" series. February's consisted of all the ridiculous self-serving, self-promoting press conferences that high schoolers stage to announce where they are going to play football at.

For my March rant, I have chosen: Bubbles bursting! God, how I hate all the talking heads (radio and tv) that constantly tell us So and so's bubble just burst! So and so is on the bubble. So and so is off the bubble. So and so is blowing effing bubbles."

Man, I love "March Madness" but I hate all the bubbles that seem to blow our way every year at this time.

But you say, "Well, what analogies would you use instead?"

Glad you asked. Here's just a few of my suggestions using actual teams that seem to be on the verge of making it in:

"Creighton's al-quaeda hideout is on the verge of being sent to the land of 72 virgins"

"San Diego State is driving on bald tires with no sweet rims or spares in place. They're boardering on a blowout"

"Florida is about to crack that crazy-ass monkey"

"Oklahoma State's on the verge of pouring out a little liquor on their fallen NCAA chances"

"New Mexico's jimmy hat is on the verge of breaking"

"Penn State's spleen could rupture at about anytime"

"St. Mary's is showing cracks in their post. If it'll splinter or not is anybody's guess"

"Ohio State's plane just ran into a flock of geese. Will they be able to pull a Sully with their tournament chances?"

"Maryland's hot air balloon is about to bust sending it hurtling thousands of feet to the ground resulting in bloody Terrapin carnage everywhere"

So, there you have it. My rant on bubbles and bubbles bursting. Don't even get me started on the over usage of "The Big Dance."

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