Monday, March 23, 2009

Spring Football is Here! Spring Football is Here!

Tomorrow begins spring practice for the Arkansas Razorback football team, and nothing says spring-time like college football! Trees pollinating, flowers blooming, rain raining, wind blowing, birds crapping on your car, and footballs flying. Whatever.

Add me to the un-enthused list of people who could really care less about spring football. I know in some states (like Oklahoma), spring football is the second most popular sport right behind the actual college football season, but for me I'll take my college hoops action, the winding down of the 17 month long NBA season, and the gearing up of baseball. But, if you want some info on upcoming Razorback spring football and what to look for, here is a god-awful, bad question and answer session from Chris Bahn over at Just kidding, Chris.

You can also go here for the spring practice depth chart and fan policies for those wanting to attend the practices.

For those of you too lazy to point and click, some of those policies I think include:

- No more than 2 flasks of liquor per person
- Portable stereos are allowed so you can rock out to your favorite music during practice
- Heckling of all kickers is strongly encouraged to help make them mentally tougher
- Handguns must be checked at the door
- Tasers, if turned off, are allowed as are bows and arrows
- No f-bombs when screaming into your megaphone unless you are calling the hogs, then it is acceptable to yell "Woo! Pig Effin Sooie!"
- Low grade marijuana will be allowed
- Unlike years past, topless sunbathing for women only will be allowed this year
- Pets of every kind are allowed. Big, loud, non-neutered/spayed pets with poor behavioral skills and manners are ok as well.
- The tossing of lit firecrackers onto the field during plays will once again be allowed
- Anti Houston Nutt signs and chants will be allowed one more year
- Airplanes with banners are strictly prohibited (unless of course they apply to the previous policy about Houston Nutt)

So, with all of those killjoy rules in place, good luck having any fun there. It's why I don't attend spring practice. The minute the administration starts to allow battery chucking at the water boys will be the day I'll be back with double A's in hand!

Speaking of baseball season, the Diamond Hogs are off to a good start after a weekend sweep at Auburn bringing their SEC record to 6-0 while improving to 16-4 overall and standing at 14th in the nation overall. My early season favorite player is the man with the crazy last name, Ben Tschepikow, who is leading the team in hits, RBIs, stolen bases, and runs and is second on the team in homers with seven and batting average at .386. Crazy last name = crazy baseball skills.

This man will hurt you.

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