Wednesday, March 12, 2008

SEC Tourney Time

The 2008 SEC Tourney is upon us and what would it be without a comprehensive breakdown as only The Hog Tale can deliver. Before we get to that, congrats go to Sonny Weems and Steven Hill as Arkansas' only All-SEC performers. Weems was named 1st team All-SEC the other day and it was much deserved. Steven Hill was named to the SEC All-Defensive team, but the Defensive player of the year went to Mississippi State's Jarvis Varnado, a shot-blocking machine.

Now, onto the SEC Tournament...

The first day playaz (aka: the losers)

USC vs. LSU 1pm Thursday
Ummm... bore and ing. Who cares. I'm flipping a two sided coin and going with LSU.

Auburn vs. Vandy 3:15 Thursday
Vandy is the only legit team in the first day of play. Anytime you have Shan Foster on your side, you have a chance. I say Vandy pummels Auburn like Ed Norton pummels himself in Fight Club.

Alabama vs. Florida 7:30 Thursday
Florida's slim slim chances ride on them at least advancing past Alabama, but I'm not so sure the Gators are all that much better than an Alabama team that's coming off a big win over Vandy. In honor of Uncle Rico, I'm going with Bama.

Georgia vs. Ole Miss 9:45 Thursday
Ole Miss' fading NCAA hopes ride on them making a run to the SEC finals I think. As Big Daddy Kane used to do back in the day, Ole Miss gets the job done against Georgia.

Day 2:
Tennessee vs. LSU 1pm Friday
LSU wins. That's my brain on crack. Tennessee stomps the Tiggers.

Arkansas vs. Vandy 3:15 Friday
I hope Vandy is hung over from Thursday's game and they aren't ready because I hate this rematch that comes just two weeks after a hard fought win at home by the Hogs. Both teams are in the NCAA tourney, but the Hogs would solidify a spot for sure with a win here, so in desperation mode, the Hogs pull out another close one and Vandy's super frosh, A.J. Ogilvy tests positive for steroids after the game.

Mississippi State vs. Alabama 7:30 Friday
Watch this ... Alabama becomes the potential bubble popper of the SEC Conference as Hendrix goes for 20 and 15 and Mykel Riley continues his amazing shooting. Bama in the biggest upset of the tourney takes down the Bulldogs. Jamont Gordon pulls a Sprewell and starts choking coach Rick Stansbury for doing such a crappy job.

(If we lose I will eat your children, Rick Stansbury!)

Kentucky vs. Ole Miss 9:45 Friday
I could give a crap about this game, but it's interesting because currently Kentucky is in on the strength of their 12 conference wins and Ole Miss is out despite their 21 wins (22 after Georgia). I think Ole Miss wins this one with strong inside play that Kentucky can't counter since Patterson is done for the year. The Sea of Blue will be on pins and needles selection Sunday, because I say Ole Miss wins number 23 right here.

Day 3
Tennessee vs. Arkansas Saturday 1pm
Arkansas, with something to prove, plays a strong game and catches Tennessee on an off-night... but... I'm not going to jinx the Hogs here (because I know they're going to win), so let's say the refs screw over Arkansas and Tennessee escapes with a win due to horrendous officiating, caused mainly by Bruce Pearl's blinding orange jacket.

Ole Miss vs. Alabama 3:15 Saturday
Two teams with strong inside games battle each other down to the wire, but Bama's chances go up in flames when Gottfried gets Tee'd up with one minute to go and Bama down by 2. Ole Miss' improbable run continues.

Day 4
Tennessee vs. Ole Miss 1pm Sunday
Bubble teams are sweating this one out. If Ole Miss loses, they still have 24 wins. Do they get in at this point? We'll let the selection committee decide as four days in a row takes its toll on the Rebels and the Vols cut down the SEC Tourney nets and secure a number two seed in some region. Pat Summitt shows up drunk to the game and sticks her tongue in Bruce Pearl's ear during the post game on court interview and proceeds to cut down the net for Bruce telling the national audience that Bruce doesn't know how to do it properly.

Just try to go to sleep with that tongue-thing image in your mind. I dare you.


gerry dorsey said...

wow...uncle rico is so beaten down by this season he doesn't even think the tide can pull it off...but he is honored nonetheless.

gerry dorsey said...

double k is a genius!!