(Sounds like a trapeze act... and now, direct your attention to the center ring... it's Bobby and the Flying Petrinos!)
Coach Petrino recently rounded out the U of A coaching staff that will bring multiple national championships to Arkansas. Also, is the read-between-the-lines loose interpretation of each coach as only Coach Petrino can...
Arkansas' Explosive OFFENSIVE Staff
Paul Petrino - offensive coordinator (Atlanta Falcons)
"He ain't heavy, he's my brother... as long as he listens to me and stays out of my way calling plays. Any offensive struggles will result in noggies from me, and will be attributed to him in the press and no one else."
Garrick McGee - quarterbacks (Northwestern)
"Former OU quarterback Garrick McGee will do a fine job coaching the QBs as long as he gets out of my way and lets me do the coaching of the QBs. If we lose to Auburn, Garrick is going to be fired."
Tim Horton - running backs / tight ends / recruiting coordinator (Arkansas)
"He better get me another Darren McFadden. I'm not screwing around with 3 and 4 star recruits. Better get me some 5's, and if we lose to LSU, Tim is fired."
Mike Summers - offensive line (Atlanta Falcons)
"He was with the Falcons when I was there and he did a good job of staying out of my way, so that's why he's here now. If we lose to Alabama, he's fired though."
Arkansas' Dominating DEFENSIVE Staff
Ellis Johnson - defensive coordinator (Mississippi State)
"If we don't beat Ole Miss next year, and I mean beat them to a non-recognizable bloody pulp, then I'm shipping Ellis' ass back to Mississippi State in a cardboard box with air holes... after I fire him."
Reggie Johnson - linebackers (Atlanta Falcons)
"You remember how dominate the linebackers were with the Falcons this year? Me neither. He better get us some studs and coach his ass off. If Miss. St. beats us, he's fired."
Lorenzo Ward - defensive backs (Oakland Raiders)
"Da Raidaz! I don't recall hiring this guy, but if we lose at all, he's fired."
Bobby Allen - defensive tackles (Arkansas)
"He's got a great first name and he better stay out of my way if I decide that I want to coach defensive tackles. And, if we lose to Georgia he's fired."
Kirk Botkin - defensive ends / special teams (Louisiana-Monroe)
"Yes, I know he's from Louisiana-Monroe, but the NCAA smiles upon programs who reach out to the needy. If any non-conference cupcakes stay within 4 touchdowns of us, Kirk is fired."
The Full Official 2008 Arkansas Football Coaching Staff:
Paul Petrino – Offensive Coordinator
Tim Horton – Running Backs, Tight Ends and Recruiting Coordinator
Garrick McGee – Quarterbacks
Mike Summers – Offensive Line
Chip Long – Graduate Assistant
Ellis Johnson – Defensive Coordinator
Bobby Allen – Defensive Line (Tackles)
Reggie Johnson - Linebackers
Lorenzo Ward – Secondary
Kirk Botkin – Defensive Line (Ends) and Special Teams Coordinator
Courtney Sanders – Graduate Assistant
Dean Campbell – Director of High School Relations
Mark Robinson – Director of Football Operations
Jason Veltkamp – Head Strength and Conditioning Coach