Saturday, July 26, 2008

SEC Football Coaches Media Days Decathlon: Day 3

The final day of the SEC football coaches media days decathlon took place yesterday and kicked off with:

Event #7: So you think you can dance competition

The battle royal found Sylvester Croom decked out in old school Hammer pants up against a casual Nick Saban in the finals. Ultimately, in a dance off for the ages, Croom edged out Nick Saban to take home first place.

(U Can't Touch Croom)

(white men always dance better with a drink in their hand)

Event 7 Results:
Sylvester Croom: 10 pts.
Nick Saban: 8 pts.
Steve Spurrier: 5 pts.
Urban Meyer: 3 pts.

Event #8: The Over the Top arm wrestling competition

The bulldog, Les Miles showed off his grit and guts and determination. He flipped his white LSU hat on backwards, and it got him to the finals, but Bobby Petrino wasn't scared and pinned little Les in a mere matter of seconds just like he plans to do in Little Rock this season.

Event 8 Results:
Bobby Petrino: 10 pts.
Les Miles: 8 pts.
Mark Richt: 5 pts.
Bobby Johnson: 3 pts.

Event 9: 40 yard dash

Most of these guys hadn't run a 40 in 20 or 30 years. We found out that the youthful Urban Meyer took down this event with very little problem. The injuries took their tolls on Nutt, who pulled up lame in the first heat with a strained hammy, Tuberville tweaked an ankle, and Fulmer passed out at the 20 yard mark, and had to be re-hydrated on the sidelines.

Event 9 Results:
Urban Meyer: 10 pts.
Les Miles: 8 pts.
Nick Saban: 5 pts.
Mark Richt: 3 pts.

Event 10: Cannonball Contest

(Meyer put up a good fight in the preliminaries, but even he knew that he wasn't going to come close to taking out Nutt... seriously, I'm open for taking some photoshop classes from someone)

The grand finale saw the coaches performing their best cannonballs for the gang of judges. Surprising, Steve Spurrier, light of frame, made a big splash. But, it was the over exuberent new coach of the Ole Miss Rebels who did the most damage with some serious splash that saw Houston Nutt win the final event.

(the winning bomb by Coach Houston Nutt)

Event #10 Results:
Houston Nutt: 10 pts.
Steve Spurrier: 8 pts.
Phillip Fulmer: 5 pts.
Sylvester Croom: 3 pts.

(the champion)

Final Results:
1st - Sylvester Croom - 34 pts.
2nd - Nick Saban - 33 pts.
3rd - Les Miles - 32 pts.
4th - Houston Nutt - 27.5 pts.
5th - Phillip Fulmer - 25 pts.
6th - Bobby Petrino - 23 pts.
7th - Steve Spurrier - 17 pts.
8th - Urban Meyer - 15.5 pts.
9th - Mark Richt - 14 pts.
10th - Rich Brooks - 12.5 pts.
11th - Tommy Tuberville - 9.5 pts.
12th - Bobby Johnson - 7 pts.

I hope you enjoyed this complete waste of time.

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