Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Don't Touch My Scooter!

By now, most everyone around here is familiar with seeing the moped gang, errr, Arkansas Razorback football players on their scooters in and around campus.

I don't know when or where the whole scooter thing actually originated, but it was mentioned several times last season especially in feature articles about D-Mac.

Anyway, the gang is apparently getting out of control this summer as junior linebacker Wendel Davis was involved in an altercation yesterday afternoon when some dude named Onyebychi Chukwunonso Odunukwe (I think he's a born and raised Arkansan) bumped into the back of Wendel's scooter with his '05 Nissan Altima at a traffic light.

Davis, who is already recovering from winter knee surgery, proceeded to pound his fists on Odunukwe's car causing dents and even cracking the dude's windshield. Davis had to be taken to the hospital for an evaluation on his possibly injured hand or hands.

First of all, what's up with the Razorback linebackers? Freddie Fairchild was released from the team about a month ago and sophomore linebacker Freddy Burton was charged with driving while intoxicated. Davis, who had 39 tackles last season, is sixth in tackles among returning defensive players from a year ago.

The Tennessee fans are all over this minor story already that comes during the sloooowwwest part of the sports calendar.

There has been no official statement from Davis yet, but this is what my inside sources tell me really happened when he got off of his scooter:

Odunukwe: Ahh, so sorry man, I wasn't paying attention and I will pay for any damages to your awesome scooter.

Davis: No problem, man. Give me your name and phone number and all of that stuff. You didn't even hardly cause a scratch on here.

Odunkwe: Hey, aren't you future All-American Wendel Davis of the soon to be 12-0 Arkansas Razorbacks? (I'm pretty sure this guy is an English major)

Davis: Yeah, that's me.

Odunkwe: My car here is piece of junk, so show me what you all are going to do to Alabama next season. Just do it on my car.

(Davis pounds car with one fist)
Davis: That's what we're gonna do!

Odunkwe: That's weak, man! We'll get killed! Now, show me, man! Really show me!

(Davis starts pounding the car with both fists and screaming "This is what I'm going to do to your head, Nick Saban!"

Odunkwe: That's it! That's it! Yeah! What about Ole Miss and Houston Nutt!?

(Davis starts going nuts and begins pounding on the windshield as well)

Odunkwe (going into a Howard Dean psycho-tirade): How about Texas! And Florida! And LSU!!!


(Davis cracks the windshield at this time, and with both fists bleeding, lays a head-butt into the driver side door deploying the airbags inside the car due to the extreme force of his punching and head-butting)

Odunkwe: Hell yeah! Woo! Pig! Sooie!

Odunkwe and Davis take a couple of photos together. Davis signs a few autographs. Police show up and escort Davis to the hospital for an evaluation on his hands and head.

It's pretty cut and clean from this point of view - Wendel Davis is fired up and ready to jack opposing offenses this season. I say this incident is a good sign for Razorback football. Let's hope we see more passionate destruction of personal property in the coming weeks!


gerry dorsey said...

bama wishes they had arky's linebacker situation.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who knows Davis knows that he is an honest, stand up guy, who would give you the shirt off his back if he had to. He's not the type of person to cause any type of altercations. According to all the articles, that guy was messing with Davis and provoking him the entire day, and a person can only take so much before they snap and start defending themself.

Double K said...

I'm taking your word for it anon, because you have to look for the positive in a situation!