Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Razorbacks Land "First Annual Best Recruiting Class of All Time"

"These are the 25 individuals that will help Arkansas dominate the SEC for the next four years. In the words of John "Bluto" Blutarsky - The SEC can kiss my ass from now on. The Razorbacks are not gonna take this losing anymore. Miles, he's a dead man! Saban, dead! Tuberville, dead!"
- Coach Bobby Petrino

I’m really tired of the whole star rankings thing. I mean, this may work well if you’re a general, but I'm blaming the recruiting services for all this four star/five star elephant dung. We just don’t need it. The recruiting gurus here at the Hog Tale have tirelessly surfed other recruiting forums for alternative ratings. Without further ado, here is Bobby Petrino’s "First Annual Best Recruiting Class of All Time" commitments (if you've been brainwashed by the's of the world and still prefer the old stars rankings, I've included those rankings as well):

Joe Adams, DB, Little Rock (4 stars) - a last minute commitment has a "12 dollar bling" rating by Street Hustler Recruiting

Lavunce Askew DT, Camden, AR (3 stars) - as one of four Camden Fairview signees, Askew will be called upon to come in and bring some meat to the Defensive line like Bill brought to the White House - a six Billary rating from the Clinton Campaign Recruiting Services

Khiry Battle DB, Dacula, GA (3 stars) - a secondary gem who was rated as a 5 Disturbingly Funny Baby Faces recruit by Toddlers Magazine

Greg Childs WR, Warren, AR (3 stars) - Childs likes the deep ball and likes his privacy and that's why the recruiting experts at Leave Britney have given him a four Britney shaved heads rating

Brian Christopher DE, Camden, AR (2 stars) - the McCain Camp Recruiting News thinks Christopher can turn into a solid Razorback and have the DE as a 5 1/2 Johnny Stud

De’Anthony Curtis RB, Camden, AR (4 stars) - arguably the best running back in the class, Anthony received an impressive 11 Platinum Grillz ranking by The Urban Dental Society Recruiting gurus.

Alfred Davis DT, College Park, GA (2 stars) - this Georgia signee could have signed with Hawaii and been a stud, but opted for the Razorbacks where he'll help shore up the defensive line - a Four Hang Loose man according to various Tropical Recruiting publications

Austin Eoff OL, Fort Smith, AR (2 stars) - in a continuous effort to promote his new movie, Will Farrell gives Eoff a rating of 9 Sexy Jackie Moons

Albert Gary RB, Citra, FL (2 stars) - as the only Floridan to sign with the Hogs, Gary is considered a Can't Miss recruit by recruiting expert/rapper, Flo Rida

Elton Ford LB, Lithonia, GA (2 stars) - this linebacker will be blowing up the holes on that Razorback defense for the next four years - a five tuber as rated by KY.

Chris Gragg WR, Warren, AR (2 stars) - Gragg will be looked at to help solidify the receiving core and is considered an 8 Barack O'Urkel player by the Obama Recruiting News

Matt Hall OL, Russellville, AR (4 stars) - this dude is 6'10, 320 lbs. - a 17 bagger as rated by Big & Tall Recruiting Services

Dennis Johnson RB, Texarkana, AR (3 stars) - this back from Texarkana hits the holes in a flash and is a 6 Rim Recruit according to The Rims Recruiting Report

Basmine Jones ATH, Warren, AR (2 stars) - the Sweet Mustache Society Recruting gurus give this athlete from Warren 4 Geraldo Mustaches

Jerico Nelson ATH, Destrehan, LA (4 stars) - Jerico can do it all, and as a stud athlete is used to putting moves on defenders (and also on the ladies) that leaves their jocks on the field - an 11 jock man according to Where's Your Jock Recruiting

Anthony Oden OL, Indianapolis, IN (2 stars) - this big O lineman likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain... he's a 7 Pina Colada stud according to the Jimmy Buffett Recruiting Guide

Chris Raggett DB, Beaumont, TX (2 stars) - though Raggett is not highly ranked by Rivals, we did see that he is a solid 4 1/2 Hello Kitty keyrings player in the Preteen Recruting Dream Magazine

Jelani Smith LB, Abbeville, LA (3 stars) - Cardplayer Magazine says that Jelani is a legit 4 aces recruit and that is full of crap with only three stars

Zach Stadther DT, North Little Rock, AR (3 stars) - in an effort to remain hip and relevent in today's society, Barry Mannilow has started his own recruiting service and gives Stadther 8 bobbleheads

Tramain Thomas ATH, Winnie, TX (3 stars) - this athlete from Texas garnered a solid 4-Tat Hug-Life rating in Tats Fo Ats Recruiting Forum

Cruz Williams WR, Little Rock, AR (3 stars) - this guy's motor will get up and go and that's made him a 12 quart stud as rated by Pennzoil's Recruting Service

Tyler Wilson QB, Greenwood, AR (4 stars) - one of the premier QBs in the nation, this kid is ranked as a 14 McLovins' Prospect in the SuperBad Prospectus

Jarius Wright WR, Warren, AR (4 stars) - his 4.4 speed should play out well next season for the Hogs - ranked as a Truckload of Green Pumas standout receiver by Puma Shoes Recruiting.

Tenarius Wright LB, Memphis, TN (3 stars) - this studly linebacker from Memphis is listed as an 8 Keg & 4 Shots of Tequila prospect at the Drinking Heavily Recruting website

Jim Youngblood QB, Camden, AR (3 stars) - not as widely a heralded QB as Wilson, but still a solid 6 1/2 Dead Knomes as reported by The Knomes Recruiting Services

There you have it! Throw in Michigan QB transfer Ryan Mallett, who may be eligible next season, and you have yourself the best recruiting class of all time! Don't pay any attention to and their 8th or 9th place ranking of Arkansas among SEC teams. Their rating system is all bogus. Can't wait to get these studs on the field.


gerry dorsey said...

nice steals in nelson and adams bro.

Double K said...

thanks. we needed a few "4 stars" to compete with the 27 "5 star" recruits the Saban lured in.

gerry dorsey said...

yeah well, call me when bama starts winning some meaningful games will ya??

Anonymous said...

ups sorry delete plz [url=].[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hey so I was reading about male enhancement pills and other shit, found this pretty awesome blog here:

[url=]Male Enhancement[/url]

What do you think of this stuff?

Anonymous said...

saw this super hot picture... check it out


Anonymous said...

i'm new... expectancy to despatch around more time after time!

Anonymous said...

I really liked your article. cardiovascular Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

Anonymous said...

adult free dating amiture apserger's dating site

Anonymous said...

dating terms iso naughty male dating

Anonymous said...

dating sites personals marriage liberty reserve dating free online sites sweden

Anonymous said...

php and mysql ebook life-span development ebook [url=]ebook on nursing help iad[/url] brealey fundamentals of corporate finance ebook

Anonymous said...

make ebook cover for free ebook download free site [url=]publishers multiple ebook formats[/url] software requirement patterns ebook

Anonymous said...

the bishop special crimes unit ebook free downloadable ebook on photogrammetry [url=]downloadable ebook[/url] ebook clearing vietnam

Anonymous said...

With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
My website has a lot of exclusive content I've either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any ways to help prevent content from being stolen? I'd certainly
appreciate it.

Here is my weblog :: homepage

Anonymous said...

dual booting software zip software trial [url=]gamut audio tools software[/url] open source surveillance software
[url=]RAID Reconstructor 3.0 - Software Store[/url] geforce 440mx tweaking software

Anonymous said...

partnership tax return software blood bank software system [url=]medi soft medical billing software[/url] grade pro software
[url=]OO DiskImage Professional 6.0 x32 - Software Store[/url] panda software productos activescan el antiv

Anonymous said...

charleston west virginia pharmacy robberies november 2007 georgia board of pharmacy [url=]myers pharmacy norristown pa[/url]
distance learning pharmacy technician correspondence course pharmacy no prescription [url=]inderal[/url]
pharmacy bronx turkey pharmacy [url=]meetinghouse pharmacy[/url]
peterson pharmacy colorado springs colorado online foreign pharmacy list [url=]gums[/url]

Anonymous said...

tenn online dating pretty asian brides mail order free tgirl dating
internet dating statistics who is miley cyrus dating
best opening dating website lines the dating game photographs dubai free dating romance

Anonymous said...

dating survey myspace sms dating sites
missouri swinging dating sites [url=]philippines dating[/url] free rusian dating
amateur porn dating service [url=]offline gay dating[/url] dating a new girl tips [url=]joanne[/url] sex dating chatrooms

Anonymous said...

woome speed dating free bisexual dating websites
single not dating [url=]dating the mi garand[/url] devon lesbian internet dating
pensacola florida phone dating [url=]philipina dating[/url] dating applications facebook [url=]Helena81[/url] online country dating sites

Anonymous said...

LddBvi [url=]sito louis vuitton[/url] FqhPqq
PkiLdm [url=]borse louis vuitton[/url] VzhDoo
NycRmv [url=]louis vuitton[/url] XkdVkl
HhqYyv [url=]isabel marant sneakers[/url] UcyMzo
XmgNyg [url=]isabel marant[/url] YcfRqm
YbgQuk [url=]isabel marant sneakers[/url] QvkKge
XbhRgl [url=]isabel marant[/url] AzcMxg
CouVxj [url=]isabel marant basket[/url] FmpHxc
YmqUwv [url=]isabel marant basket[/url] VqcXyq
WxnTnq [url=]isabel marant basket[/url] FhlHoj