Offensive Genius vs. Offensive Genius: The Arkansas - South Carolina Preview

Arkansas 4-5 (1-4) vs. South Carolina 6-3 (3-3)
Kickoff: Noon CST
TV: ESPN Gameplan
Line: South Carolina favored by 12


Before there was Bobby Petrino, offensive mastermind, there was Steve Spurrier, offensive mastermind. The ol' ball coach brought his geniusness to the ACC and rejuvenated a historically bad Duke program, even winning an ACC Title in 1989. Spurrier then went on to win a national championship at Florida University before taking over the helm of the Washington Redskins briefly. He then bolted the NFL back to SEC country when he took over the Gamecocks in 2005. Spurrier helped to pave the way for acts like Nick Saban and Bobby Petrino (of course, Granny Lou Holtz did it many years before it became vogue).

These two offensive masterminds will play X's and O's Saturday afternoon in what may be a Deep Blue vs. Gary Kasparov type chess game. The Razorbacks will also be up against the best defense in the SEC statistically. It'll be a tough match up, and even further hindering the Razorback chances will be this totally useless stat that I calculated all by myself:

Razorback Football Record in the next game after a Presidential Election since 1900: 11-12-2
Razorback Football Record in the next game following the election of a Democrat: 5-6-1

So, as you can see, the odds are enormously stacked against us as we head to Columbia for a showdown with the Cocks.


Speaking of Presidential elections, our 44th President of the United States was kind enough to respond to a quick question from the Hog Tale:



The Hog Tale: I realize there are some issues with the economy and Iraq and such, but most of Arkansas and South Carolina only care about one thing since John McCain got all the electoral votes in both of our states: What's your prediction for this weekend's game?


President Obama:

"Listen. I don't like Arkansas, because Arkansas does not like me. 59 percent of you Bible-thumping morons voted for my opponent. Expect me to implement a state by state tax increase based upon which states did not vote for me and by how much.
Look. I don't like South Carolina either, though it wasn't as bad because only 54% of you backwards hillbillies voted for my opponent there. I will reserve the right to turn Hilton Head into a naval port in the near future.
As far as my prediction for this pathetic excuse of collegiate athletic event, I predict that Bobby Petrino and Steve Spurrier will be paying more taxes next year due to their excessive contracts with their respective universities. Only because my beloved Hilary Clinton once resided in the Governor's mansion in Little Rock, I am picking the Arkansas Razorbacks to win 21-20. So sayeth your new Commander in Chief."

The Final Analysis:

Last year's shredding of the South Carolina defense was so much fun to watch. Darren McFadden and Felix Jones each sliced through the Gamecock defense for about four miles each in rushing as the Razorbacks won their final home game of the season.

This year, we might not run for four miles on this South Carolina defense, which ranks #1 in overall defense in the SEC. But, can the Hogs win? Yes we can! The Hogs' offense, with great confidence, rolls to a 49-13 win.