Thursday, August 14, 2008

The SEC Media Guides Rankings

Part Uno (#12-#6)

As I did last year in one horribly long post, I ranked the media guide covers based upon my own 100% unbiased view of each cover. And, by popular demand (and when I say popular demand, I mean at least three people), I am back for more. But, this time, I am putting it an unbelievably exciting two-part post just to drag out the tension and excitement from the millions of Hog Tale readers who will be checking in here.

Without anymore delay...

#12 Vandy

Vandy is the worst at everything except academics and the occasional run in basketball. They're probably good at women's soccer too and maybe lacrosse. I don't really know for sure. I'm just making a generalized statement based solely on their football program. Anyway, this media guide cover is pathetic. Aren't the students at this fine institution supposed to be some of the brightest in the country? Last year, they had four players fully dressed standing together looking ferocious. More of the same this year I guess, and still no smiles from any of them. I want some smiles next year! Is that too much to ask? Where is the imagination and the creativity with this horrendous cover? Sorely lacking. If I was in this media guide, I would want to curl up in a ball and suck my black and gold Vandy thumb.

#11 Ole Miss

Seriously? They are going to put Houston Nutter on the cover after he has done absoulutely nothing at Ole Miss yet. I at least understand why Bama put Saban on the cover last year - because Saban got paid more money than God, and from what I hear he put the whole media guide together himself via telekinesis... in just over 2 1/2 minutes time. Well, Ole Miss is destined for the bottom of the heap in the SEC West this year - just where these media guides will belong at the end of the season - the bottom of a stinky, messy Ole Miss garbage heap.

#10 Kentucky

Kentucky never fails to disappoint when it comes to football media guide covers, and it's another resounding failure this season! It's like they don't even care, because they realize that basketball season is only a few months away. Last year's horrific "Believe in Blue" cover was awesomely awful. This year's guide - not much better.

#9 Mississippi State

Anytime you can put the Croomer on anything, it's a masterpiece in my opinion. I think they should put a closeup picture of his face that takes up the whole cover, personally. The only and biggest problem with this cover is that it's still Mississippi State, and who outside of a portion of Mississippi gets excited for this media guide?

#8 Georgia

This guide reminds me way too much of last year's guide which featured their kicker, Brandon Coutu, in the middle of the cover. It's just boring. Extremely, excrutiatingly boring. In fact, I'm so bored with it, that I refuse to even acknowledge this cover anymore. It's erased from my mind.

#7 Tennessee

Why do I have to see Philip Fulmer on the cover? Why I ask? What did I ever do to deserve such a cruel punishment of the eyes? At least there is a little bit of creativity with the black and white photos that surround big Phil. But still, couldn't they have put Tee Martin or Smokey the Dog or Tee Martin petting Smokey the dog on there instead?

Next week: Part Deaux - The Top 6 SEC Football Media Guide covers for 2008

(Try to contain your excitement. I'd post it sooner, but I'm on my way to visit family in Oklahoma and everyone knows there is no internet in Oklahoma and only the very wealthiest of wheat farmers own personal computers.)

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