Friday, August 29, 2008

The Arkansas - Western Illinois Preview

Arkansas (0-0) vs. Western Illinois University (0-0)
Saturday 6pm
Reynolds Razorback Stadium

We are going to kill Western Illinois. Seriously. I really mean we might kill them. I'm talking tons of hits, explosions, and blood that may lead this game to a NC-17 rating. We're talking Tarantino type carnage here. We are going to kill you dead, Western Illinois. There will be blood.

The purple and gold Leathernecks are sauntering into Razorback country for a good ol' southern ass whoopin' - SEC style.

The Razorbacks show at least 18 true freshman on the two-deep chart (and seems to be changing every minute) which tells me that there are going to be 13 opponents this season getting spanked by a bunch of guys barely past their high school senior prom night.

What we do know is that we will probably see a lot of those frosh come Saturday evening. Casey Dick will lead the offense with DJ Williams, London Crawford, Jarius Wright, and Lucas Miller seeing their fare share of balls thrown their way. Michael Smith will be starting at tailback, but we'll probably get to see a lot of Dennis Johnson, Brandon Barnett, and De'Anthony Curtis.

WIU comes into the contest ranked #25 in whatever the hell division of football they pretend to play in. The purple and gold are led by their kicker and a running back named Herb. In whatever the hell division they play in, their kicker is a pre-season first team All-America. Taylor Rowan booted six field goals over 50 yards last year (the most among Division I kickers). But, in Illinois and in whatever the hell division of football, the fields are smaller and 50 yards equates to about 30 yards in real football from what I hear.

(Is there anything more intimidating than a light yellow bulldog?)

The Leathernecks also have third team pre-season All-America Herb Donaldson who is on pace to become Western's all-time leading rusher in only his third season there. Herb has back to back 1,400 yard seasons in whatever the hell division of football they play in. Herb. Herbie. Herbster. I'd be embarrassed to let anyone named Herb run for very much on me. I say Herb is in for a rude SEC welcoming and will be lucky to get past the line of scrimmage anytime he gets the ball.

Trivia question stumper: There are three division one schools with military nicknames. Name them.
Answer: 1. Army Cadets 2. Navy Midshipmen and... you ready? 3. Western Illinois Leathernecks
Feel free to win some money or alchohol of your choice off of your friends with that little trivia question.

Most famous WIU footballers:

(Bryan Cox made flipping off the fans in the NFL fun for everyone)

(Rodney Harrison is still hanging around with the Patriots and will forever be part of the "helmet catch" in last year's Super Bowl loss to the Giants)

Final Analysis:

The Razorbacks recorded their most lopsided win ever in 1911 when the Hogs spanked Missouri State 100-0. Well, 1911 will be erased from the record books tomorrow evening in Fayetteville when the Flying Petrinos hang 105 on WIU in a 105-6 win. Casey Dick will be slinging more rock than your neighborhood crack dealer as Razorback fans will get a glimpse of the future. Leave the small children and weak-stomached at home, because there will be blood.

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