Ladies and Gentlemen, THE Most Frustrating College Basketball Team in America

Bammer Time Round 2

Arkansas at Alabama 14-13 (3-9)
Tipoff: 7:05
TV: Raycom Sports



I'm not going to say this is a must-win game, but it's pretty dang close. At 18-8 (7-5 in conference), I still think the Hogs can get into the tourney by winning three of their last four to get to 21-9 and 10-6 in conference and then a first round SEC tourney win. So, basically, at the very least, they need to beat three of the remaining four starting with today at Alabama (Vandy, Auburn and at Ole Miss are the last three). The Tide have lost five of their last six.

The Hogs' RPI is currently 36th with strength of schedule coming in at 50th. Alabama's RPI is at 130 with SOS at 68. The Hogs really should win this game. Out of the last four remaining this would be the worst loss they could have next to losing at home against Auburn.

Hopefully after the public blasting of our front line by Coach Pel after Kentucky dominated us on the boards on Saturday the big men will show up to play and contain the best individual big man in the conference, Richard Hendrix (18.5ppg and 10.1 rpg), who is #3 in the SEC in scoring, #1 in rebounding, #3 in FG %, and #3 in blocked shots. Hendrix' totals and rankings are very similar to my stats when I used to play on my nerfhoop in my room against imaginary opponents, except for I'm pretty sure that I never shot over 60%.

Kissing Pigs and College Baseball

The annual Kiss A Pig gala was Saturday night in Rogers at the Embassy Suites. If you're not familiar with the event, The Kiss A Pig raises money for diabetes and diabetes research every year and is quite arguably the social event of the year for those into that sort of thing.
Anyway, couple of cool notes: Coach Petrino's wife bought him a Harley Davidson for around $27,000 during the live auction portion of the show. Also, another person bid a little bit over $4,000 for a private jet trip for two to a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game with Coach Petrino. I wish I could drop 25k whenever I felt like it.

Speaking of baseball, you did realize that it is baseball season didn't you? The beautiful weather we've been having in NW Arkansas should have been your first clue. Don't tell me that you weren't thinking about baseball with the gray skies, rain, and 30-something degree weather we've been having recently. How about a few more double headers in April and May and a few less games in February, or starting the season a week or two later and ending with the College World Series in early July? Maybe it's just me, but I prefer to sit in above freezing conditions to watch baseball.




(Third baseman Logan Forsythe hit .500 this past weekend in the sweep over Wright State as the Razorbacks start off the season 3-0)


Freshman first baseman/DH Andy Wilkins was named the SEC Freshman of the week. I didn't really have time to put together my comprehensive preview of how the Razorback baseball team is going to go 56-0 or to show you just how I think Logan Forsythe will hit .857 this season. I just have one of those feeling you know? They are already 3-0. That's like over 5% of the way to being undefeated. SEMO will be win number four this afternoon.

It's Official: Mcfadden Is Faster Than You

(D-Mac showing off his agility at the combine in Indy all the while avoiding those dangerous orange cones... stay away from the cones! he hates these cones!)


"Humanity Advanced" blew out a 4.33 - 40 yard dash at the NFL combine in Indy on Sunday... against the wind. With no shoes on. Running backwards. While blindfolded. With a cigarette in one hand, and a bottle of Old English in the other...




"Insane!" yelled one scout.

"No, wait. It's actually insanity advanced!" yelled another scout


"I'm not sure God Almighty could out run that young man," yet another scout concluded.

Everyone seemed impressed, except for the Miami Dolphins' scouts. The Dolphins hold the number one overall pick but are more interested in blowing millions of dollars on someone not named Darren McFadden.

"Running backs have a shorter shelf-life," the Dolphins' head scout explained, "They're always getting hurt and are basically no good after about age 30, you see. We would rather make our investment in a mediocre offensive lineman or defensive tackle or an over-rated quarterback who can play until they are 35. Why gamble on the next coming of Jim Brown when we can get a more sure player who will help us be a .500 team every year. Besides, I think Ricky Williams still has a few good years left in his pot-smoking tank."

Felix Jones was one of a few other backs who clocked in at a turtle speed of only 4.4. Don't be surprised if Felix had a torn ACL or something along those lines, and actually had to drag that leg when he ran.

No Clever Headline

The frustration with Kentucky continues. Another year, another loss to the Big Blue and I can't blame Kentucky native John Pelphrey for anything. It was right there!

The Hogs battled back from a five point halftime deficit to lead 53-50 with three and a half minutes remaining. Sonny Weems came up huge in the second half, but unfortunately no else did. On the other side of things, Ketucky's Crawford and Bradley scored the last 48 points (well, maybe it was only 15 but it felt like 48), and Bradley's fall away jumper from about 8 feet over Gary Ervin was the shot of the game.

This group of Razorback seniors will never feel what its like to beat Big Blue unless we happen to meet in the SEC tourney. Even more importantly, Arkansas did nothing to help solidify a NCAA spot as they fall to 18-8 and 7-5 in conference. With four regular season games remaining (two at home), the Hogs have a chance to win all four, but could just as easily lose three or four if they don't bring their A game. On the flip side, Kentucky is making a hell of a run back into bubble contention as they are now easily the second best team in the east (which makes the Vandy blowout all the much more of a head-scratcher), and arguably the Mildcats are the second best team in the SEC right now as much as it pains me to say that.

Maybe Rob Evans Should Coach This One

Arkansas 18-7 (7-4) at Kentucky 14-10 (8-3)
Tipoff: 1:05 CST
TV: CBS

“There will be a lot of emotion for me when we get back in the building. I’m sure a lot of memories will come flooding back. I went in and out of the back of that building a lot as a player. Once the game starts, I will focus on the task at hand." - Coach Pelphrey

Rrrriiiight (must be said with a snarky, skeptical, sarcastic tone).

Tomorrow afternoon in Lexington, Kentucky, a native son returns to the place where he became one of the "Unforgettables." John Pelphrey, jersey number hanging from the hallowed rafters of Rupp Arena, will make his coaching debut against his alma mater Kentucky Wildcats.



I'm a little worried that Coach Pelphrey is not going to be as focused as he needs to be and really screw things up. I mean, for one, check out his projected starting lineup for tomorrow:

G - Nate Rakestraw (0.0 ppg)
G - Stephen Cox (0.0 ppg)
F - Levan Patsatsia (0.4 ppg)
F - Marcus Britt (0.8 ppg)
C - Michael Sanchez (redshirt)

"I think this is the time to lift Michael's redshirt and get him some action. He's been practicing well and preparing for this one game all year long. I'm excited to see what he can do against Patrick Patterson inside. I am also a big believer in getting guys some rest this time of year before the SEC tournament and the NCAA tourney, so I think I will probably sit Sonny (Weems) and Patrick (Beverley) out of tomorrow's game to get them some rest. I haven't decided for sure yet, but that's the way I'm leaning right now," said Pelphrey during his weekly press conference.


(Pel has about 50 bottles of this in his liquor cabinet. Word is this is all he drinks when he does drink, and that he is so nervous about the Kentucky game that he'll have a few shots of this before the game to loosen up a bit.)


(A few shots of this and anything that was unforgettable will be forgotten quite easily)


Inside the Pelphreys' house:

An exclusive Hog Tale photo of the Pelphreys' daughter's room. She goes to sleep every night dreaming sweet dreams of Kentucky blue...



"Daddy says this is only a temporary stop on our way back to Kentucky," she whispered to a local Hog Tale reporter, "Daddy says keep cheering for Big Blue and never forget where you came from. Daddy also says that Rupp Arena is just like Heaven... only better! I hate Arkansas! Stupid pigs are gross!"



The Mildcats have come a long way since their Gardner-Webb days early in the season. They've won seven of their last eight (the only loss was the crushing they received at the hands of Vanderbilt) and are led by Joe Crawford, Ramel Bradley and freshman Patrick Patterson (all averaging around 16 ppg).



"I can't control the outcome of this game," Pelphrey said, "The players will determine that. All I can do is wear my lucky socks like I normally do and pray for a victory against the greatest University, tradition, and people I've ever known."




All I know for sure is that I will watching closely and I'll be ready to call out Coach Pelphrey for any shady substitutions, play-calling, or lack of effort on his part.

Herschel And His "Multiple Personalities" Were In The House

Before we start analyzing John Pelphrey's return to the Blue Grass state to face his old team, I thought I'd run this post like Herschel Walker used to run over linebackers back in his day at Georgia. I was a little too young to really remember Walker's dominance at Georgia, but just watching some of his college football footage is pretty amazing.

Walker was in town to speak at a luncheon at a local church close to where I work, so I had to make time to hear what the SEC's all-time leading rusher is doing these days.

First off, I made sure my dress was appropriate...
















Then, I figured that this would be kind of like an ESPN Gameday crowd, so I made up a few signs...














So then I drove to the church he was speaking at...






As he was introduced there was a large ovation, but personally, I was booing him and trying to get a "Georgia sucks" chant going which never really took hold. A few people looked at me strangly and I just told those idiots I would never cheer for a Georgia Bulldog.

Anyway, I know there's been a whole lot of this - "Herschel is crazy and has multiple personalities" - thing going on at various blogs and websites over the past few months, but he did set the record straight saying that all he meant was that you had to have a different "personality" on the football field versus being a father versus running a business, etc., etc. But after that, he snapped into the voice of a 10 year old girl and started yelling about how icky boys are. So, I think his explanation is weak at best.

Some fast facts I learned about Herschel:
he is a certified FBI agent,
says NFL knowledge advantage goes to Chris Mortensen over Chris Berman,
says he could still play in the NFL today if he wanted and claims to have a standing offer from Jacksonville I think,
still keeps in contact with Donald Trump (dates back to his old USFL days),
prefers Tom Landry over Vince Dooley,
is co-producing a reality fight show with Mark Burnett (of "Survivor" and "The Apprentice" fame),
runs a food company,
thinks Roger Clemens is lying,
was valedictorian of his high school and scored a 1380 on the SATs,
just finished his first book (this is where the multiple personalities rumors got started), and will appear on "60 Minutes" and "Oprah" in the future to promote it,
once held the world record for the 60 yard dash for a very short time (he says "minutes") until some chump named Carl Lewis broke it later in the same day,
still does a ton of pushups and situps he was so famous for doing as part of his workout routine (said he did 750 pushups this morning and 2,000 situps),
and as you would expect (given this luncheon took place at one of the biggest churches in the area) gives major props to the Big J.C. upstairs for all of his success.

Walker did take a nice little jab at Bobby Petrino (without directly saying his name) when he started talking about how college football needs more coaches like Tom Landry and less coaches that are in it for the money who jump ship every couple of years. The statement did cause some murmuring from the crowd but Walker was good-natured about it.

Walker did cast his Hesiman vote for D-Mac which helps to ease a little bit of my animosity towards him for being a Georgia Dawg AND a Dallas Cowboy. All in all, it was a good luncheon and Herschel was very gracious to hang around and sign autographs and pose for pictures (so I hear anyway, as I really didn't make it to the end because I was escorted out after I attempted to run up on stage and tackle him).