Monday, March 9, 2009

Hog Tale Madness 1st Round Matchups

16 exciting 1st round matchups from the Ozark and Delta Regions (ok, maybe it's just a diversion from work) for you all this week and 16 1st round matchups next week.

Let's take a look at this week's matchups (vote in the polls to the side or email them into thehogtale@hotmail.com):


The Ozarks Region (Fayetteville)

1 Frank Broyles, former coach and UofA athletic director
16 Jerry Van Dyke, actor









The winningest head coach in Arkansas Razorback football history, Coach Frank Broyles led the Arkansas Razorbacks to their only national championship in football in 1964 and then played Athletic Director for many years. Going on 85 years of age, the "Hog Father" is still active and can be seen and heard from at many Razorback functions to this day.

vs.

Jerry Van Dyke also known as Luther Van Dam, the assistant coach of the Minnesota Screaming Eagles on ABC's "Coach." A member of the Arkansas Entertainers Hall of Fame, Jerry once owned a home between Malvern and Benton and is the brother of Dick Van Dyke.




8 Mike Huckabee, former Republican presidential candidate
9 Bo Mattingly, sports radio and tv personality









The former Arkansas Governor, Mike Huckabee was a Republican Presidential candidate in 2008 before eventually bowing out to John McCain. Chuck Norris supported this guy, so think twice about voting against him. A one time fatty, Huckabee dropped over 110 pounds and plays (or did play) in a band called "Capitol Offense."

vs.

Bo Mattingly is the host of the popular "Sports Talk with Bo Mattingly" radio show and has been a fixture on tv for many years in this area. The knowledgeable Mattingly keeps close tabs on the pulse of the Arkansas Razorbacks.




5 Houston Nutt, former Razorback football coach
12 Donna Bragg, tv personality








Once and for all, these two will hook up and it won't be any texting that they're doing.
Former Arkansas football coach Houston Nutt brings his lightening rod to the tournament for a showdown against television news anchor Donna Bragg who is arguably the most famous news anchor in the state after rumors swirled about the textual relations she was having with Houston Nutt prior to Houston's departure. Nutt is entering his second season as head football coach at Ole Miss University. Bragg, the 40/29 star, has won several awards for community service and investigative medical reports.




4 Ronnie Brewer, professional basketball player
13 Keith Jackson, former football player








Ronnie Brewer, the former Arkansas hoop star, is now a budding star for the NBA's Utah Jazz. Too bad they don't allow television in Utah, because I'd really like to see him play someday. Oh wait, that's the Amish community that doesn't allow that stuff. I have seen Ronnie play some this year, and he's playing better than ever.

vs.

It's new school vs. old school, because standing in Ronnie's way is Big Keith. That's right, Little Rock native Keith Jackson takes his NCAA National Championship (at a University not to be named) and 6 NFL pro bowls into this matchup against young Brewer. Big Keith spent last season providing color commentary on Razorback football radio broadcasts.




3 Mark Martin, NASCAR driver
14 Veronica Campbell-Brown, track star










This dude drives fast and can make left turns like nobody's business. The pride of Batesville, Arkansas, Mark Anthony Martin has been running down opponents on the NASCAR circuit since 1981. #5 currently resides in Florida, but owns a couple of car dealerships in the Natural state.

vs.

This chick runs fast and also excels at left turns. Veronica Campbell-Brown is faster than you. The former Arkansas track star ran down a gold medal for her native land Jamaica by winning the 200 meter race in 2004 and defended that title in 2008. Bob Marley would be proud, mon (sorry, for me, anything Jamaican always ties back to Bob Marley).




6 Tracy Lawrence, country singer
11 Joe Nichols, country singer









The Battle of Country Crooners:

Paint this guy a Birmingham. The veteran Tracy Lawrence was raised in Foreman, Arkansas and attended Southern Arkansas University. The 41 year old Lawrence has produced numerous #1 hits including "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" back in 2007.

vs.

Joe Nichols is the 32 year old Rogers native hoping not to be sent to "Brokenheartsville." Nichols is hoping to celebrate the win with some Tequila and the singing of his hit "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off."




7 Corliss Williamson, former basketball player
10 John McDonnell, former UofA track coach








"The Big Nasty" recently returned home in honor of the celebration of the 1994 NCAA championship Arkansas basketball team. Corliss played 12 years in the NBA and now works as an assistant coach at Arkansas Baptist University and will still dunk on you if you get in his way.

vs.

The Ireland native, John McDonnell is the winningest coach in the history of collegiate track with 42 NCAA titles and 46 SEC championships. The dude cranked out championships in his sleep during his tenure at the UofA.




2 Bill Clinton, former President of the U.S.
15 Norm DeBriyn, former Razorback baseball coach











"Slick Willie" is the former President of the United States and current good will ambassador and supporter of his much more powerful wife Hilary. Famous for his adulterous affairs (and a few of his policies), Clinton was one of the most polarizing presidents in U.S. history.

vs.

Facing a tough task is a tough man. Former Razorback baseball coach Norm DeBriyn ran the Arkansas baseball program for 33 years accumulating 15 NCAA tournament appearances including four College World Series.




The Delta Region (Jonesboro)

1 Cliff Lee, baseball pitcher
16 "Strike", NWA Naturals Mascot









The reigning A.L. Cy Young Award winner, Cliff Lee has risen from the baseball ashes to the top of the heap. In the minors in 2007, Lee returned to the Cleveland Indians lineup with a vengence in 2008. The former Razorback finished 2008 with a 22-3 record.

vs.

"Strike" is the mascot of the one year old NWA Naturals team, a double A affiliate of the Kansas City Royals. His gigantic frame and psychotic eyes make him a fan favorite. Children, on the other hand, are haunted during their sleep with visions of Strike eating them.




8 Billy Bob Thornton, actor
9 Josh Lucas, actor










Billy Bob Thornton is of course the once Mr. Angelina Jolie who has starred in numerous movies including "Sling Blade," "Friday Night Lights," and "Mr. Woodcock." Born in Hot Springs, "Bad Santa" has four biological children and one adopted son with Jolie. No word as to what happened to the vial containing a drop of Angelina's blood that used to hang around his neck.

vs.

Josh Lucas burst onto the scene with Reese Witherspoon in "Sweet Home Alabama" - "Why you wanna marry me anyway?" and continued his rise to fame portraying head basketball coach Don "The Bear" Haskins in "Glory Road" - a very fitting movie this time of year.




5 Mike Conley Sr., former track star
12 Chuck Barrett, voice of the Razorbacks








The Olympic Gold Medal winner in the triple jump at the 1992 games in Barcelona, Mike Conley Sr. won 16 NCAA titles in the triple jump and long jump while at the University of Arkansas. He is now a sports agent for NBA players Mike Conley Jr. and Greg Oden.

vs.

"The Voice of the Razorbacks," Chuck Barrett is the long time play by play man for Razorback baseball. Chuck took over play calling duties on football broadcasts two seasons ago after a car accident took the life of former broadcaster Paul Eells.




4 Sidney Moncrief, former basketball player
13 Joey Lauren Adams, actress









One of "The Triplets," Sidney Moncrief helped to lead Eddie Sutton and the Arkansas Razorbacks to the Final Four back in 1978. The Little Rock Hall High School stud was a five time all star with the Milwaukee Bucks and two time Defensive Player of the Year.

vs.

A North Little Rock native, Joey Lauren Adams has appeared in over 30 films including "Chasing Amy" and "Big Daddy" as Adam Sandler's love interest. She also appeared in the Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Aniston movie "The Break Up" and hopes to upset the higher seeded Moncrief.



3 Matt Jones, football player
14 Rick Schaeffer, walking Razorback encyclopedia








The Ft. Smith native was a star QB at the University of Arkansas and one of the fastest white boys I've ever seen on a collegiate football field. A cocaine possession arrest last summer has tarnished the once shiny image of the Jacksonville Jaguar's wide receiver.

vs.

Rick Schaeffer is a walking encyclopedia of Razorback athletics. Don't remember much about the Arkansas - Texas game from 1972? Rick will give you a play by play breakdown off the top of his head along with telling you the temperature and what shirt he was wearing that day. Don't remember where you even were that day? Chances are, Rick knows that too.




6 Mary Steenburgen, actress
11 Tyson Gay, track star










Born in Newport, Arkansas, Mrs. Steenburgen has been in over 60 films and can easily be considered the most famous actress born in Arkansas history. Married to Ted "Mayday Malone" Danson since 1995, Steenburgen has won an academy award for supporting actress along with appearing in the Will Farrell classics "Step Brothers" and "Elf." Also to her credit, "Philadelphia" with Tom Hanks and "Parenthood" with Steve Martin

vs.

Tyson Gay is fast. Damn fast. The U.S. record holder tweaked a hammy prior to this year's Olympics, but I'm still not sure anyone human could have beaten Usain Bolt. Gay is a former Razorback stud sprinter.




7 Ronnie Dunn, country singer
10 Gus Malzahn, asst. football coach at Auburn









Our third country singing star in the field is one half of the most sucessful country duo of all-time - Brooks & Dunn. Ronnie Dunn, an El Dorado native, has countless awards and #1 hits including "Maria," "Boot Scoot Boogie," and "Hard Working Man" and is a member of both the Oklahoma and Arkansas Entertainers Hall of Fame.

vs.

The rising coaching superstar Gus Malzahn led Shiloh Christian and Springdale High School to state championships before joining Houston Nutt's staff for one tumultuous season. After spending last season helping to lead the nation's #1 offense at the University of Tulsa, Malzahn is now the new offensive coordinator for Auburn.




2 Jermain Taylor, boxer
15 Mitch Mustain & Beck Campbell, USC QB and mom









The former undisputed middle weight champion of the world, Jermain "Bad Intentions" Taylor hails from Little Rock. Taylor, who is 27-2-1 in his career is a former Olympic bronze medalist and next faces Carl Froch in April.

vs.

Taylor will have his hands full with the duo of Mitch Mustain and his mom, Beck Campbell. Mustain is the former Springdale all-american now spending his playing days at USC. He throws a pretty spiral, but cross him or do him wrong, and momma bear may step in and you'll wish you never messed with the Springdale mafia.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Oh Vandy



... Oh, Vandy

Well, we came and you kicked our bacon
And you sent us away, oh Vandy
Well, while we missed, you just kept on makin'
and you kicked our ass today. Oh, Vandy
!

I have my parents and their Barry Manilow collection to thank for that horrible, horrible, unforgivable parody, and if you're not sure what I'm talking about consider yourself lucky and don't go listening to any Barry Manilow music (unless it's "Copacabana"). There's not much to say as the Hogs dropped below .500 for the season heading into the SEC tourney later this week. Time to get back that OU and Texas form from December and early January.

Friday, March 6, 2009

HOG TALE MADNESS


As promised, here is the bracket to The Hog Tale's 1st Annual Arkansas Celebrity (and I use the word "celebrity" loosely) Tournament.

64 of the best, brightest, and baddest Arkansans to ever be born, live, play, or make some sort of mark on the state in the political or entertainment world (that are still living) are set and ready to battle it out.

Sure, I'm going to get emails and comments that say "You forgot (fill in the blank) you idiot! How could you forget (fill in the blank) jackass!" I also didn't put too much thought (a little, but not too much) into the seeding, so if you want to send me "why is so and so a 5 seed and so and so is a 12 seed?" feel free to do so. Just know that I probably won't try to defend the seeding, or the fact that it may be slightly Northwest Arkansas slanted, because it is what it is. I can live with it, and surely you can.

The voting will run every Monday - Sunday with two different ways to vote:
1. in the right column, you can vote in the polls that will be up beginning March 9th, or
2. you may email your votes into thehogtale@hotmail.com


1st round matchups will take place March 9th-15th and March 16th-22nd

2nd round matchups: March 23rd-March 29th

3rd round matchups: March 30th-April 5th

4th round matchups: April 6th-April 12th

Final Four matchups: April 13th-April 19th

Championship Matchup: April 20th-April 26th


And just fyi, like they do on all these prediction shows:

The last four in:

Frank Bonner, actor
Mitch Mustain and mom Beck Campbell, USC QB and mom
Dick Trammel, local celebrity and staple of charity functions
Al Green, R&B & Gospel singer

The last four out:

Kimberly Foster, actress
Lee Mayberry, former Razorback basketball star
Maya Angelou, author
Glen Campbell, country singer


The Ozarks Region (Fayetteville), March 9-15

1 Frank Broyles, former coach and UofA athletic director
16 Jerry Van Dyke, actor

8 Mike Huckabee, former Republican presidential candidate
9 Bo Mattingly, sports radio and tv personality

5 Houston Nutt, former Razorback football coach
12 Donna Bragg, tv personality

4 Ronnie Brewer, professional basketball player
13 Keith Jackson, former football player


3 Mark Martin, NASCAR driver
14 Veronica Campbell-Brown, track star

6 Tracy Lawrence, country singer
11 Joe Nichols, country singer

7 Corliss Williamson, former basketball player
10 John McDonnell, former UofA track coach

2 Bill Clinton, former President of the U.S.
15 Norm DeBriyn, former Razorback baseball coach


The Delta Region (Jonesboro), March 9-15

1 Cliff Lee, baseball pitcher
16 "Strike", NWA Naturals Mascot

8 Billy Bob Thornton, actor
9 Josh Lucas, actor

5 Mike Conley Sr., former track star
12 Chuck Barrett, voice of the Razorbacks

4 Sidney Moncrief, former basketball player
13 Joey Lauren Adams, actress


3 Matt Jones, football player
14 Rick Schaeffer, walking Razorback encyclopedia

6 Mary Steenburgen, actress
11 Tyson Gay, track star

7 Ronnie Dunn, country singer
10 Gus Malzahn, asst. football coach at Auburn

2 Jermain Taylor, boxer
15 Mitch Mustain & Beck Campbell, USC QB and mom


The Ouachitas Region (Hot Springs), March 16-22

1 Darren McFadden, football player
16 Ralphie May, comedian

8 Jim Bob Duggar family, former state legislator and current reality star
9 Scottie Pippen, former basketball player

5 Tom Pagnozzi, former baseball player
12 Aaron Peters, tv sports personality

4 Todd Day, former basketball player
13 Dan Skoff, tv meterologist


3 John Pelphrey, Razorback basketball coach
14 Collin Raye, country singer

6 Barry Switzer, former coach
11 A.J. Burnett, NY Yankees pitcher

7 "Gauge", pornstar
10 "LaChelle Marie", pornstar

2 John Daly, golfer
15 Tommy Tuberville, former Auburn football coach


The Timberlands Region (Pine Bluff), March 16-22

1 Bobby Petrino, Razorback football coach
16 Dick Trammel, local celebrity and fund raiser extraordinnaire

8 Neile Jones, tv personality
9 Joan Early, tv personality

5 Lou Brock, former baseball player
12 Dave Van Horn, Razorback baseball coach

4 Hilary Clinton, former 1st lady and current Secretary of State
13 Wally Hall, sportswriter


3 Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys owner
14 Frank Bonner, actor

6 Felix Jones, football player
11 Dana Sargent, tv personality

7 John Grisham, author
10 Brooks Robinson, former baseball player

2 Nolan Richardson, former basketball coach
15 Al Green, R&B and Gospel singer

Thursday, March 5, 2009

What the Hell?

Ole Miss at home? Really? Has Razorback basketball really sunk this far? Ay caramba!

The Razorbacks led by nine at halftime only to see Ole Miss open up with a 19-9 run to start the second half. Arkansas battled back from as much as seven down in the second half and forced overtime, but Ole Miss opened OT with a 9-2 run pretty much ending any hope for the Razorbacks to run their winning streak to two in a row.

Five Razorbacks were in double digits led by Rotnei Clarke's 19, but it just wasn't good enough once again for these young Razorbacks. Good thing we didn't have any seniors that had to end their home playing careers losing to Ole Miss. The Hogs end the regular season at Vandy on Sunday before readying for the SEC Tourney next week.

Only our women's basketball team has beaten Ole Miss since Houston Nutt left to become football coach there. In fact, the women open up with Ole Miss in the women's SEC Tourney beginning today at noon in Little Rock.


(Go Lady Razorbacks!)

On a more positive note (I guess), Michael Washington is second team All-District 21 whatever area that entails. How many districts are there? I've never really cared to look it up before. Maybe I will sometime soon.
I guess it's pretty good, because here is the 1st team All-District 21: Florida’s Nick Calathes, Kentucky’s Jodie Meeks, South Carolina’s Devan Downey, LSU’s Marcus Thornton and Tennessee’s Tyler Smith.
Pretty much just looks like an all-SEC team to me.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Ole Freakin' Miss Tonight

The Razorbacks are set to play their final home regular season game tonight hosting Ole Miss at 7:05. It, of course, is senior night so the Razorbacks will say farewell to... hold on, let me think about this... gotta be someboday... nope, guess not. While a 2-12 SEC record is nothing to get excited about, the fact that there are no seniors on this team contribute to the ray of hope that many Razorback hoop fans are holding onto these days.

Once again, I will go out on a limb and say that Jason Henry will end up being the best of the freshmen class that includes Rotnei Clarke and Courtney Fortson. Pelphrey and company are about one or two players away from being a SEC championship contending team next season.

Pelphrey's pre-game interview can be found here. It includes this tidbit as to why he chose to bring Stefan Welsh off the bench against Georgia:

“I didn’t (bring him off the bench) because of a slump. I thought the reason he played well was because he looked on edge, alert and full of energy, and he looked like a reader of defense. He looked like everything was on the money.”


The game tonight is at 7:05 and there is no television, so either show up, tune in on the radio, or play the game out in your mind over a 2 1/2 hour stretch. That is probably what I'll do. If I fast-forward to the end, I'm looking at a winning streak of two in a row as the Hogs take care of business tonight winning by 20.

We could at least thank this "senior" for his contributions earlier in the season...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Completely Random Video

We all know that the best cat is a dead cat... kidding to all you PETA readers out there. But me thinks this kitty is on top of Michael Phelps' wish list...

Sunday, March 1, 2009

What a Bunch of Dogs


Well, I didn't get to attend the celebration of the 1994 team Sunday. The 2008-2009 Hogs, which have struggled mightily in SEC play, hosted and subsequently spanked the Georgia Bulldogs. I will say one thing, I would rather be 1-12, now 2-12 in the SEC then to play so lifeless and without any heart like the Georgia Bulldogs did on Sunday afternoon inside of Bud Walton arena.

I did the next best thing on Sunday afternoon and watched it on tv in the comfort of my home. First off, nice touch with Pel breaking out the boots for wearing in honor of Coach Richardson.

The introduction of the 1994 Razorbacks was also broadcast at halftime and included the former Hogs Alex Dillard, John Engskov, Clint McDaniel, Darnell Robinson, Reggie Merritt, and the five starters from that NCAA championship game - Ken Biley, Dwight Stewart, Scotty Thurman, Corey Beck, and the Big Nasty, Corliss Williamson.

I loved Coach Richardson firing up the crowd and telling them that Georgia is only down 17 points and that's only "5 baskets." Obviously, he meant for there to be two four-point plays in the midst of those five baskets. He told the crowd "let's get to work" and led the calling of the Hogs to end the ceremony.

The Hogs did get to work winning the rebounding war 39-27 and took care of the ball committing only 11 turnovers to Georgia's 21. Michael Washington had 17 points and 13 boards and Rotnei Clarke led the way for the Razorbacks with 19 points. The 89-67 win over Georgia was a nice break from the disaster that has been the second semester. Who knows, maybe this win will spark the Hogs to win their last two games and get on a roll heading into the SEC tourney. Stranger things have happened. Just ask the Georgia team about their run last year.


In less flattering news, future Heisman Trophy winner, QB Ryan Mallett was arrested for public intoxication on Sunday morning.



This man is not drunk!