Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Our Female Tennis Player is Better Than Your Female Tennis Player

How about this for some minor sports coverage...

Lady Razorback tennis phenom Aurelija Miseviciute, ranked #1 in the last collegiate tennis rankings, fell in the NCAA singles semi-finals Sunday after an impressive run that included 52 singles wins this season - the most in Razorback tennis history.

Don't even try to pretend that your female tennis player is better than ours, because she's not. Ours lost in the semis only because she was drugged or doped or something that prevented her from playing her best. Perhaps, as some sort of self-motivation, she decided to watch the movie "Wimbledon" the night before her semi-final match and the movie made her puke because it was so disgustingly bad. Whatever the reason, she didn't deserve her fate.

Miseviciute dropped a 7-6, 6-4 match to 25th ranked Zuzana Zemenova of Baylor - an upset of epic proportions if you ask me. 25th? Fault! I say. This was a once in a lifetime win by Zemenova that would never happen again as far as I'm concerned. Curse you, Zemenova! And curse the rest of your Baylor tennis team as well! (for those of you interested, Zemenova lost in the championship to some chick from Georgia Tech who wasn't nearly as good as Miseviciute either).

Miseviciute was rightfully named unanimously to the All Southeastern Conference First-Team to go along with SEC Scholar-Athlete of the Year. So, in case that didn't make any sense to you, that means she's also a brain. So our female tennis player is not only better than yours, but she is also smarter than yours.

Aurelija helped lead the University of Arkansas to its first ever SEC Western Division title and Elite Eight appearance in the NCAA Team Championships.

For this tennis season, I say game - set - match.

But for next season, I say beware of the Lituanian Love and don't be surprised if she goes undefeated.

There will be no kissing of the singles title this season, but just wait until next year!

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