Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'



Not to be all bragadocious, but all of you in the 99.99 percentile in ESPN.com's bracket challenge raise your hand. If you listened to me last week, you too correctly picked all final four teams heading to Detroit this week and would be in that 99.99 percentile, that is if you could go in and change your picks in mid-tourney.

Sure, I had the 'Cuse beating OU which didn't happen. I just had the wrong point guard doing the damage. Instead of Johnny Flynn, it was Ty Lawson that ate up super-human Blake Griffin and the Sooners and instead of sucking donkeys against Syracuse, Austin Johnson and Tony Crocker did it against UNC.

Oh, now you want my final four prediction, huh? Well, on a confidence scale of 1-100, I'm at about a 50 with this, but I won't deviate from my original picks:

Mich. State beating UConn
UNC ending Nova's run

Mich. St. upsetting UNC for the championship


Monday, March 30, 2009

Run, Billy, Run!

This video is all over the place including one of my favorite blogs - Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, but I had to post it here in case you haven't seen it yet. It's Billy Gillispie with the Kentucky paparazzi in tow.



I love how Billy is "on the phone" pretend-talking to his pretend friend. My guess is that phone wasn't even powered on. Then, the jogging scene was great with the reporter, who looks like ESPN's poker expert Norman Chad, asking Billy if he was really going to run away from him and then saying that he could run with him all day.

The Hog Tale's Sweet 16

Through two rounds of The Hog Tale's first Arkansas Celebrity Tournament, here are the 16 remaining. Vote to the side.

(1) Frank Broyles








The winningest head coach in Arkansas Razorback football history, Coach Frank Broyles took down Mike Huckabee in the 2nd round and led the Arkansas Razorbacks to their only national championship in football in 1964 - his two greatest sporting achievements thus far. Going on 85 years of age, the "Hog Father" is still active and can be seen and heard from at many Razorback functions to this day.

vs.

(4) Ronnie Brewer








Ronnie Brewer, the former Arkansas hoop star, is now a budding star for the NBA's Utah Jazz. Too bad they don't allow television in Utah, because I'd really like to see him play someday. Oh wait, that's the Amish community that doesn't allow that stuff. I have seen Ronnie play some this year, and he's playing better than ever.



Mark Martin (3)









This dude drives fast and can make left turns like nobody's business. The pride of Batesville, Arkansas, Mark Anthony Martin has been running down opponents on the NASCAR circuit since 1981. #5 currently resides in Florida, but owns a couple of car dealerships in the Natural state. Can he run by the former President?

vs.

Bill Clinton (2)









"Slick Willie" is the former President of the United States and current good will ambassador and supporter of his much more powerful wife Hilary. Famous for his adulterous affairs (and a few of his policies), Clinton was one of the most polarizing presidents in U.S. history.



(8) Billy Bob Thornton









Billy Bob Thornton pulled off the biggest upset of the tournament so far with his win over AL Cy Young winner and 1 seed Cliff Lee. Thornton is of course the once Mr. Angelina Jolie who has starred in numerous movies including "Sling Blade," "Friday Night Lights," and "Mr. Woodcock." Born in Hot Springs, "Bad Santa" has four biological children and one adopted son with Jolie. No word as to what happened to the vial containing a drop of Angelina's blood that used to hang around his neck.

vs.

(4) Sidney Moncrief









One of "The Triplets," Sidney Moncrief helped to lead Eddie Sutton and the Arkansas Razorbacks to the Final Four back in 1978. The Little Rock Hall High School stud was a five time all star with the Milwaukee Bucks and two time Defensive Player of the Year.



(3) Matt Jones









Despite being cut from the Jacksonville Jaguars, Jones continues to thrive in Hog Tale Madness by evidence of his domination of Tyson Gay in the second round. The Ft. Smith native was a star QB at the University of Arkansas and one of the fastest white boys I've ever seen on a collegiate football field. A cocaine possession arrest last summer has tarnished the once shiny image of the Jacksonville Jaguar's wide receiver.

vs.

(2) Jermain Taylor








The former undisputed middle weight champion of the world, Jermain "Bad Intentions" Taylor hails from Little Rock. Taylor, who is 27-2-1 in his career is a former Olympic bronze medalist and next faces Carl Froch in April.



(1) Darren McFadden









DMac is perhaps the greatest Razorback football player of all-time. Should have won at least one Heisman while becoming Arkansas' all-time leader in rushing yards and highlight-reel runs. Now an Oakland Raider, "Humanity Advanced" hopes to have a healthy second season and some decent linemen.

vs.

(4) Todd Day









Arkansas Razorback basketball's all-time leading scorer, Todd Day could light it up from downtown in his day. Day played nine seasons in the NBA for Milwaukee, Boston, Miami, Phoenix, and Minnesota never meeting a shot he didn't like. Will it be Arkansas' top baller or top gridiron great advancing?



(6) Barry Switzer








A 2nd round winner over John Pelphrey, The "Bootlegger's Boy" born in Crossett, spent time on the Arkansas Razorback coaching staff under Frank Broyles before going on to fame and fortune as a national championship head coach at Oklahoma and a Super Bowl winning coach with the Dallas Cowboys. Troy Aikman is gay.

vs.

(2) John Daly










Everyone's favorite lovable, cigarette-smoking, drunk hillbilly golfer took down the only remaining Arkansas porn star in "Gauge" in the 2nd round. A two-time major winner and a frequent Hooters visitor, Daly played golf for the University of Arkansas and kept his shirt on most of the time and will try to take down another rebel in Switzer in this Sweet 16 matchup.



(1) Bobby Petrino









Even with a sub-par first season, Bobby Petrino has Razorback fans excited for the future. The season ended on a positive note as the Razorbacks retained possession of the Boot in the annual LSU game, and things are looking up with another outstanding recruiting class. If he can keep his players sober and out of jail, it should be a good year upcoming for Hog football.

vs.


(4) Hilary Clinton









The former 1st lady and Democat presidential nominee is now Secretary of State under President Obama. She's hot. You know the rest.


(3) Jerry Jones







Thanks to a narrow victory over Felix Jones, the Little Rock native is arguably the most powerful man in the NFL as owner of so-called "America's Team" the Dallas Cowboys. Jones was co-captain on the 1964 NCAA championship Razorback football team under Frank Broyles and is pro-plastic surgery.

vs.

(2) Nolan Richardson









With 40 Minutes of Hell, Nolan set the standard at the University of Arkansas for the basketball program. He took the bar that had already been elevated by Eddie Sutton and he raised it a notch with the 1994 national championship. Richardson is still the only coach to win a junior college national championship, a N.I.T. championship, and a NCAA collegiate championship.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Billy Ball Done at Kentucky; Will Pel Be in the Mix?


In case you haven't heard, smooth Billy Gillispie is out at Kentucky after only two years, and the Cats will be on the hunt for a new head coach. (Gasp)

Does our very own Kentucky born and bred John Pelphrey get included in the mix of names that are sure to surface over the coming days? You can bet your Hog snout that he will be asked by the media as will Chancellor White in the days to come.

It will be interesting to say the least who Kentucky targets after this disaster. Gillispie never seemed to quite fit and his teams never seemed to perform up to their talent level on a consistent basis, but I for one was surprised by his firing today. After all, it has only been two years, but apparently there was some behind the scenes stuff that may have played into this whole saga as well. The fellows over at A Sea of Blue have more details on the situation.

All I have to say, is stay the hell out of Arkansas and away from John Pelphrey. Sure Pel had his struggles this year, but I like the upside more than I'm disappointed in this year's results. If nothing else, this season's sub .500 finish knocked Pelphrey down a notch or two in the "up and coming" young coaches' circle which definitely works to our benefit.

So, UK, go get Travis Ford, or Sean Miller, or Jeff Capel, or Mike Anderson, or Jamie Dixon, or a cut-out of Adolph Rupp. The main thing is that I don't care who UK gets this time. Just stay away from Pel.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ryan Mallett Can Punt Too


At a time of the year when the local sports casts don't really interest me much, I found last night's little tidbit on spring practice fairly interesting.

The local Fox sports chick Courtney Timmons (and later in the evening Aaron Peters) had footage from spring practice yesterday showing Ryan Mallett punting.
We all know the Mallett can drink some alcohol, has a cannon for an arm, and will probably win two Heisman Trophies, but who knew he could boot a fairly nice spiral?
Well, probably his family, friends, teammates, and Razorback stalkers all knew, but I digress.

This little twist for the offense will make for some helpful special teams situations come fall, because the Razorbacks will be able to have their offensive unit out there anywhere around midfield on fourth down forcing defenses to line up to stop them, and Mallett can just drop a few steps further back and punt it.

At Least One Arkansas Team is Still Ballin'



That's right, your Arkansas Lady Raaaaazzoooorbaaaacckkks are still hoopin' as March winds down. The Lady Backs (18-13) are in Lawrence, Kansas tonight to kick the crap out of the KU Lady Jayhawks in the Women's N.I.T. third round. Whitney Jones is going for 19 blocked shots tonight. I can feel it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Real NCAA Tourney Gets Underway Now

The first weekend of the NCAA tourney is always fun as you try to pick and see which 12 or 13 seed is going to whack a 3 or 4 seed and become this year's Cinderella. But, alas, the top 12 seeds in the tourney have all advanced to the Sweet 16 and now the tourney really begins. The pretenders from such conferences as the Great American South Plains Conference, the Mideast Northwestern Shore Conference, and the Middle Atlantic Eastern Southwest Conference have all had their fun with the little guy trying to topple Goliath. Now, we down to bizness.

Yours truly correctly picked 15 of 16 teams. So, yes, I went with a lot of favorites and was handsomely rewarded by that. Only Arizona, who I had winning in the first round, slipped in under my keen favorites-only radar.

Since I'm here to brag on myself, and rightfully so, here's a look at who's winning over the next four days...



Sorry, Sooner fans, but this guy is done Friday night, unfortunately. Blake Griffin is a beast and I love watching him play, but the Sooner guards (minus Willie Warren) suck donkeys. Austin Johnson and his faux-hawk and long-sleeve boy Tony Crocker are going to get worked by Syracuse's thugs, I mean guards. Johnny Flynn is the best point guard in the tourney (UNC's Ty Lawson is a close 2nd) and even though I can't stand Eric Devendorf, the dude can ball. And, when OU has had problems, it's been with teams with good guards. See: KU (Sherron Collins), OSU (Baby Eaton), Texas (AJ Abrams), and even Arkansas with Courtney Fortson.

So, even though I think the Cuse will advance, here is my final four that I'm still sticking with from my bracket:

UNC, Villanova, Mich. St., and UConn

Send me a thank you note when you gravy train off my picks and it makes you look smarter than you are.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Spring Football is Here! Spring Football is Here!



Tomorrow begins spring practice for the Arkansas Razorback football team, and nothing says spring-time like college football! Trees pollinating, flowers blooming, rain raining, wind blowing, birds crapping on your car, and footballs flying. Whatever.

Add me to the un-enthused list of people who could really care less about spring football. I know in some states (like Oklahoma), spring football is the second most popular sport right behind the actual college football season, but for me I'll take my college hoops action, the winding down of the 17 month long NBA season, and the gearing up of baseball. But, if you want some info on upcoming Razorback spring football and what to look for, here is a god-awful, bad question and answer session from Chris Bahn over at ArkansasRazorbackscollegiatemensdominatingSports360.com. Just kidding, Chris.

You can also go here for the spring practice depth chart and fan policies for those wanting to attend the practices.

For those of you too lazy to point and click, some of those policies I think include:

- No more than 2 flasks of liquor per person
- Portable stereos are allowed so you can rock out to your favorite music during practice
- Heckling of all kickers is strongly encouraged to help make them mentally tougher
- Handguns must be checked at the door
- Tasers, if turned off, are allowed as are bows and arrows
- No f-bombs when screaming into your megaphone unless you are calling the hogs, then it is acceptable to yell "Woo! Pig Effin Sooie!"
- Low grade marijuana will be allowed
- Unlike years past, topless sunbathing for women only will be allowed this year
- Pets of every kind are allowed. Big, loud, non-neutered/spayed pets with poor behavioral skills and manners are ok as well.
- The tossing of lit firecrackers onto the field during plays will once again be allowed
- Anti Houston Nutt signs and chants will be allowed one more year
- Airplanes with banners are strictly prohibited (unless of course they apply to the previous policy about Houston Nutt)

So, with all of those killjoy rules in place, good luck having any fun there. It's why I don't attend spring practice. The minute the administration starts to allow battery chucking at the water boys will be the day I'll be back with double A's in hand!


Speaking of baseball season, the Diamond Hogs are off to a good start after a weekend sweep at Auburn bringing their SEC record to 6-0 while improving to 16-4 overall and standing at 14th in the nation overall. My early season favorite player is the man with the crazy last name, Ben Tschepikow, who is leading the team in hits, RBIs, stolen bases, and runs and is second on the team in homers with seven and batting average at .386. Crazy last name = crazy baseball skills.


This man will hurt you.

Round 1, Week 2 Winners

Ouachitas Region winners:
(1) DMac
(9) Scottie Pippen

(5) Tom Pagnozzi
(4) Todd Day

(3) John Pelphrey
(6) Barry Switzer

(7) "Gauge"
(2) John Daly


Timberland Region winners:
(1) Bobby Petrino
(9) Joan Early

(5) Lou Brock
(4) Hilary Clinton

(3) Jerry Jones
(6) Felix Jones

(7) John Grisham
(2) Nolan Richardson


16 more matchups to vote on for round 2 are to the right. Carry out your Arkansan duty and vote.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The 2008-09 Season Set A Drift



See how deep and meaningful I'm being here with this picture? The bird in this picture is the 2008-09 Arkansas Razorback basketball season (metaphorically of course). The person releasing it is me. Don't tell me I didn't make you nod your head in poetic agreement with me just this moment.

If there's a tear running down your cheek also, that's ok. No it's not! You're gay if that's happening because this basketball season was a complete disaster. You should be somewhere between pissed and resigned. The team is not happy and neither is the coach, so it's ok for us to feel that way as well.

The 2009 portion of the season was a complete disaster. 2008 was just fine, because 2008 saw the Razorbacks head into the 2nd round of the NCAA tourney before losing a close one to North Carolina. The end of 2008 also saw the Hogs beat one of the top 10 teams in the country - the redneck, hillbilly bumpkins from next door, Oklahoma.



Here is the good that I'll take with me into the fall as the '09-'10 team takes form:

Freshman point guard Courtney Fortson and his ability to get into the lane and make things happen. As you'll see over the next three weeks, teams with point guards who can do this will make things very difficult on their opponents. Just watch, I promise.

Freshman shooting guard Rotnei Clarke will only get better. He finished 2nd in the SEC in 3-point FG percentage at 39% and he will only continue to refine his skills, and I think he'll remind us all a little bit of Tennessee's Chris Lofton by the time everything is said and done.

Freshman Jason Henry's potential is there. If the dude gets stronger physically, mentally, and can stay out of Pel's doghouse, he could be a great Razorback.

Junior Michael Washington had a very good year and was the team's most consistent player. No need to test the NBA waters at this time, M-Dub - one more year will do you a lot of good, and I'll be glad to have him another year.

This Razorback team was never as good as Oklahoma or Texas for that matter even though we beat them both. The Razorbacks caught lightening in a bottle for a week when we beat these two top 25 powers and Coach Pelphrey had these Razorbacks believing they could beat anybody at that point. I think it's safe to say, the Razorbacks may have over-achieved slightly during this time.



Here is the bad that I'll send soaring away into the air and hope to see much less of next season:

This team's immaturity on and off the court. Let's face it, this was a young team and you're going to get a lot of this kind of stuff. There was very little leadership on this team and way too many off the court incidents. From Patrick Beverley's pre-season dismissal to Fortson to Henry to Moore to even Marcus Monk's situation, the distractions were numerous throughout the season and weren't of any help to anyone.

Second-half collapses. If the SEC games were only 20 minutes long, we'd be talking about a 20 win Razorback team right now. The inexperience showed up in the second half of games especially during SEC play as the Hogs didn't really have that killer instinct needed to win in one of the nation's toughest conferences.

The combined 30% shooting from three-point land by Fortson, Henry, and Welsh. We've just got to shoot the ball better from behind the three-point line or quit shooting it. There were times this season where I had no confidence in any of those three to make a big three-pointer.

Fortson's 1.3-1 Assist to turnover ratio. He's just a freshman and he made a lot of freshman mistakes, so I'll be looking for a ratio closer to 2-1 come next season and wouldn't mind a few more assists and a few less shots. Even though Fortson averaged close to 6 assists per game (2nd in the SEC), he could easily be a 7-8 assist per game point guard which would be a top 10 guy nationally.

Finally, the worst defense in the SEC must fly away as well. These Hogs have to get stingier on the defensive end. The Hogs were last in the SEC in scoring defense.

Well, I feel I can officially put this season to bed and enjoy the NCAA games that are going on right now. I'll be interested to see how well Tennessee, Mississippi State, and LSU represent for the SEC, and I'll be looking forward to a clean slate for this Razorback team come next October when expectations will be up and we'll all hope the losses will be down. SEC champs next season, baby! Drink the red kool-aid and believe it, booyyyeee!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Michael Washington is Second Team All-SEC and You're Not


Congrats to M-Dub for his well deserved place on the SEC's All-Conference 2nd team. The junior averaged 15.5 points and a league leading 9.8 rebounds per game for the Hogs this season. Nicely done. Next season, I'll look for it to be 18 and 11 per game.

First team selections:

LSU’s Marcus Thornton and Tasmin Mitchell
South Carolina’s Devan Downey
Kentucky’s Jodie Meeks, Florida’s Nick Calathes and
Mississippi State’s Jarvis Varnado

The rest of the second team included:

Ole Miss’ David Huertas and Terrico White,
Kentucky’s Patrick Patterson,
Auburn’s Korvotney Barber and
Alabama’s Alonzo Gee

Honorable Mention:

Dominique Archie, South Carolina, F, 6-7, Jr.; Wayne Chism, Tennessee, F, 6-9, Jr.; Chris Johnson, LSU, 6-11, Sr.; A.J. Ogilvy, Vanderbilt, C, 6-11, So.


PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Marcus Thornton, LSU

COACH OF THE YEAR: Trent Johnson, LSU

NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR: Terrico White, Mississippi

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day. It's Collegeinsider.com Madness!



A happy St. Patrick's Day to you! This shirt is just proof that you don't have to be Irish to enjoy this day. So, go ahead, pull up some U2 music, get your green on, and go toast a pint or two of Guiness with your boys down at the pub to the greatest Irish-Arkansan of all-time, John McDonnell.


Switching to college basketball...


If you are not good enough to make the NCAA's field of 65 teams or the N.I.T.'s field of 32 teams, you still have one more shot at post-season glory - The CollegeInsider.com Postseason Tourney. That's right folks, 16 more teams get the chance at post season glory. Think of it this way, if you're a division one team and you can't make any of the three tournaments that total up 115 teams, then you have to come to the realization that your team pretty much sucked.

In an interesting note that ties in with Arkansas basketball (no, the Hogs didn't make it because you have to at least finish over .500 to qualify), former coach Nolan Richardson is one of the selection committee members.

Here is that stellar field of 16:

AUSTIN PEAY GOVERNORS19-13 (13-5 Ohio Valley Conference)
BELMONT BRUINS19-12 (14-6 Atlantic Sun Conference)
BRADLEY BRAVES18-14 (10-8 Missouri Valley Conference)
THE CITADEL BULLDOGS20-12 (15-5 Southern Conference)
DRAKE BULLDOGS17-15 (7-11 Missouri Valley Conference)
EVANSVILLE PURPLE ACES17-13 (8-10 Missouri Valley Conference)
IDAHO VANDALS16-15 (9-7 Western Athletic Conference)
JAMES MADISON DUKES19-14 (9-9 Colonial Athletic Conference)
KENT STATE GOLDEN FLASHES19-14 (10-6 Mid-American Conference)
LIBERTY FLAMES22-11 (12-6 Big South Conference)
MOUNT ST. MARY'S MOUNTAINEERS19-13 (12-6 Northeast Conference)
OAKLAND GRIZZLIES22-12 (13-5 Summit League)
OLD DOMINION MONARCHS21-10 (12-6 Colonial Athletic Conference)
PACIFIC TIGERS19-11 (10-6 Big West Conference)
PORTLAND PILOTS19-12 (9-5 West Coast Conference)
RIDER BRONCS19-12 (12-6 Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference)

Monday, March 16, 2009

Hog Tale Madness First Round, Second Week Matchups

In not so surprising former Razorback news: Matt Jones has been released by the Jacksonville Jaguars. Here's hoping he ends up in Oakland with D-Mac. Now, onto the Hog Tale's Arkansas Celebrity Tourney Week 2...

We're into our second week of first round matchups. Here are the matchup capsules from the Ouachitas Region and the Timberlands Region. Yes, I know the regions don't make any sense other than the fact that they are geograpically correct. Just be sure to vote on the side, otherwise you are not fulfilling your Arkansan duties.


The Ouachitas Region (Hot Springs)

1 Darren McFadden, football player
16 Ralphie May, comedian









DMac is perhaps the greatest Razorback football player of all-time. Should have won at least one Heisman while becoming Arkansas' all-time leader in rushing yards and highlight-reel runs. Now an Oakland Raider, "Humanity Advanced" hopes to have a healthy second season and some decent linemen.

vs.

Ralphie May, a graduate of Clarksville High School, burst onto the scene as one of the top comics on NBC's show "Last Comic Standing". Large and in charge, Ralphie continues to entertain the masses.





8 Jim Bob Duggar family, former state legislator and current reality star
9 Scottie Pippen, former basketball player















Speaking of mass, the Duggar family is coming in mass and bringing the thunder with them to this tourney. The former state legislator has 18 children and a reality show, "17 Kids and Counting." This team has versatility and strength in numbers and might be the only challengenger who can legitimately stop Scottie Pippen in this 8-9 matchup.

vs.

Scottie Pippen was the Robin to Michael Jordan's Batman winning 6 NBA titles together. Considered one of the greatest 50 NBA players of all-time, Pippen played his college ball at Central Arkansas and may be slightly undervalued as a 9 seed.





5 Tom Pagnozzi, former baseball player
12 Aaron Peters, tv sports personality









Tom Pagnozzi, former Razorback baseball star and MLB player, lives and works in the Fayetteville area these days. "Pags" who was a NL All-Star and spent 11 seasons with the St. Louis Cardinals heads up Pagnozzi Charities, which helps give back to the disadvantaged children.

vs.

Aaron Peters doesn't have the clout of Tom Pagnozzi, nor does he qualify for aid under the Pagnozzi Charities guidelines, but what he lacks in pure power, he makes up for in wit and just looking good for the camera every night as he reports the sports on KNWA.




4 Todd Day, former basketball player
13 Dan Skoff, tv meterologist










Arkansas Razorback basketball's all-time leading scorer, Todd Day could light it up from downtown in his day. Day played nine seasons in the NBA for Milwaukee, Boston, Miami, Phoenix, and Minnesota never meeting a shot he didn't like.

vs.

Dan Skoff is our only weatherman in the field of 64 this year. The cutting edge meterologist has been predicting the weather with uncanny accuracy of at least 50% in NW Arkansas for the past 3 years. Skoff is the dark horse to take home the crown.




3 John Pelphrey, Razorback basketball coach
14 Collin Raye, country singer









Coach John Pelphrey led the Arkansas Razorbacks into the NCAA Tournament's 2nd round last season. His sophomore campaign began well with wins over Texas and OU, but has turned into a dismal SEC season. Pel's group is young, and hopes are still high for this energetic coach from Kentucky.

vs.

Collin Raye, born Floyd Collin Wray in De Queen, Arkansas is the fourth country music star in our tournament. His first album produced his first #1 hit, "Love, Me" and since then he has charted over 30 singles on the Country charts.





6 Barry Switzer, former coach
11 A.J. Burnett, NY Yankees pitcher










The "Bootlegger's Boy" born in Crossett, spent time on the Arkansas Razorback coaching staff under Frank Broyles before going on to fame and fortune as a national championship head coach at Oklahoma and a Super Bowl winning coach with the Dallas Cowboys. Troy Aikman is gay.

vs.

A.J. Burnett, born in North Little Rock, went to Central Arkansas Christian and was an 8th round pick of the New York Mets in 1995. He has a no-hitter to his name and just recently signed a 5 year 82.5 million dollar contract with the New York Yankees. No word as to whether or not he'll follow the Roger Clemens training regimine.





7 "Gauge", pornstar
10 "LaChelle Marie", pornstar











What's a full 64 team field without a battle of Arkansas porn stars with cool alias names?

"Gauge" born in 1980 in Hot Springs has over 150 "films" to her credit. None of which I've ever seen, but I've heard she does some great acting and can moan with the best of them.

vs.

Born Sherold Boyle, "LaChelle Marie" hails from Prairie Grove. The up and coming busty blonde has around 25 "films" to her credit, and has been nominated for an Oscar. Oh, wait, correction: she's been in a scene with someone named Oscar.





2 John Daly, golfer
15 Tommy Tuberville, former Auburn football coach










Everyone's favorite lovable, cigarette-smoking, drunk hillbilly golfer is just as notorious off the golf course as his talents are on it. A two-time major winner and a frequent Hooters visitor, Daly played golf for the University of Arkansas and kept his shirt on most of the time.

vs.

Tommy Tuberville, born and raised in Camden, was the long time head coach for the Auburn Tigers. A graduate of Southern Arkansas University, Tuberville beat in-state rival Alabama six straight seasons and should have taken the Arkansas job when he had the chance.



The Timberlands Region (Pine Bluff)

1 Bobby Petrino, Razorback football coach
16 Dick Trammel, local celebrity and fund raiser extraordinnaire









Even with a sub-par first season, Bobby Petrino has Razorback fans excited for the future. The season ended on a positive note as the Razorbacks retained possession of the Boot in the annual LSU game, and things are looking up with another outstanding recruiting class. If he can keep his players sober and out of jail, it should be a good year upcoming for Hog football.

vs.

Mr. "I'm Everywhere" in Northwest Arkansas is Dick Trammel. Open up the newspaper or any local magazine publication and Dick Trammel will be in there. I think he attends every single charity event in NW Arkansas even when he's required to be in two places at once. The man is unstoppable and you can't count him out as a huge underdog in this matchup.





8 Neile Jones, tv personality
9 Joan Early, tv personality












Born in Little Rock, Neile grew up in Tulsa and became a Sooner after attending the University of Oklahoma. She now can be seen most every week night at the KNWA news desk as well as at various charity functions including heading up "Team Neile" in the annual Race for the Cure. I'd put money on her if she was ever in a royal rumble with Matt Turner, Dan Skoff, and Aaron Peters.

vs.

Joan Early is a graduate of the University of Missouri. Joan has been a long time member of the KATV team in Little Rock as a "Family First" reporter and co-host of "Good Morning Arkansas." In a cat fight, don't count out the scrappy Early.





5 Lou Brock, former baseball player
12 Dave Van Horn, Razorback baseball coach









The long time St. Louis Cardinal was the original thief setting the all-time steals record in major league baseball before Ricky Henderson came along. Born in El Dorado, Brock was the first to ever swipe 50 bases and hit 20 homers in the same season.

vs.

Keeping with the baseball theme in this matchup is U of A's baseball skipper Dave Van Horn who took over for legendary Norm DeBriyn (a first round loser to Bill Clinton). A former Razorback baseball player, Van Horn has led the Razorbacks to the College World Series once and twice with teams as head coach at Nebraska. He'll also light up an ump or two this season.





4 Hilary Clinton, former 1st lady and current Secretary of State
13 Wally Hall, sportswriter









The former 1st lady and Democat presidential nominee is now Secretary of State under President Obama. She's hot. You know the rest.

vs.

Wally Hall is not hot, but he is the long-time sports writer with a column running in the Arkansas Democrat Gazzette during the week. Sometimes controversial (Hall also serves as sports editor), people seem to have a love/hate relationship with the man.





3 Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys owner
14 Frank Bonner, actor










Born in Little Rock, Jerry Jones is arguably the most powerful man in the NFL as owner of so-called "America's Team" the Dallas Cowboys. Jones was co-captain on the 1964 NCAA championship Razorback football team under Frank Broyles and is pro-plastic surgery.

vs.

Born in Little Rock in 1942, Frank Bonner rose to superstardom (ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but very slight) as the sales manager on everyone's favorite late 70's, early 80's tv series "WKRP in Cincinnati." The dude worked with Lonnie Anderson and "Johnny Fever" and "Venus Flytrap!" Bonner also went on to direct episodes of "Who's The Boss?" and "Head of the Class." Take that, Jerry Jones!





6 Felix Jones, football player
11 Dana Sargent, tv personality










The often underappreciated and lesser known backfield mate of Darren McFadden with the Arkansas Razorbacks, Felix Jones led the country in yards per carry his final season as a Razorback and now suits up for the Dallas Cowboys.

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A born and bred Arkansan and Bentonville High School graduate, Dana Sargent is the main anchor on the local Fox 24 station. "Sarge" is much easier on the eyes, but has the monumental task of stiff-arming Felix Jones.





7 John Grisham, author
10 Brooks Robinson, former baseball player











I've heard of many women losing more sleep over John Grisham than their husbands. Grisham was born in Jonesboro and has produced best seller after best seller including "The Firm," "The Pelican Brief," and "The Rainmaker" to name just a few. However, "The Chamber" was a complete waste of my time as was "Skipping Christmas."

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An Arkansas native, Major League baseball's AL MVP in 1964 won 16 gold gloves at the hot corner. Robinson played his entire 22 year career with the Baltimore Orioles and is a member of the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame.





2 Nolan Richardson, former basketball coach
15 Al Green, R&B and Gospel singer










40 Minutes of Hell vs. The man trying to keep you out of Hell.
Nolan set the standard at the University of Arkansas for the basketball program. He took the bar that had already been elevated by Eddie Sutton and he raised it a notch with the 1994 national championship. Richardson is still the only coach to win a junior college national championship, a N.I.T. championship, and a NCAA collegiate championship.

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The Reverend Al Green is the sixth of ten children born in Forrest City, Arkansas. Green's smooth voice brought you the classic hit from the early 70's "Let's Stay Together." A member of the rock and roll Hall of Fame, the 62 year old Green is predominently a gospel singer these days.