Petrino Simplifies Arkansas Offense For Fans

Coach Bobby Petrino's first ever SEC Coaches Media Days event went off nicely as the coach was ever politically correct. He did have a few notable quotes, which I've loosely paraphrased here:

The media asked Coach Petrino to describe the new offense that he has brought with him to the University of Arkansas:

"Simply put, we are going to be Texas Tech on crack."

Asked whether or not Casey Dick could be the man to lead this offense:

"Right now, he is. We are going to throw the ball until his arm falls off. Then, we will surgically re-attach it, at halftime, and throw it some more. He's a tough kid. He'll handle it."

Asked if he could give the strong point of this year's team and the weakest point:

"Well, the strong point of this team is me. The weak point is the team doctor. No way we should ever have anyone hurt for more than 24 hours. Rub some dirt on it, and get back in there."

Asked about the Razorbacks' off field incidents this off season (four Razorbacks (now five with Marques Wade) had been arrested prior to media days):

"The 5-0 is really getting on my nerves. I understand they have a job to do, but they need to realize that it would be safer for the players if the police would just keep them in jail, because when I get to them, they will wish they were never born."

Finally, when asked to comment on the consensus of the media picking the Razorbacks to finish last in the SEC West this season:

"First off, you also picked Ole Miss and Mississippi State to finish in front of us. That ought to tell everyone something. Secondly, do you know when the last time was that Arkansas finished 6th in the SEC West? Try never."

(Arkansas's new offense)