National Signing Day

I hope you all had a super Tuesday... just super. Super duper in fact.

Personally, I voted for my own write-in candidate who goes by the name of Pel-Petrino. I took Petrino’s shrewdness and strategically genius mind and combined that with Pelphrey’s intensity and his politically-correct speaking, and I came up with one hell of a candidate I think.






Anyway, every collegiate football junkie’s favorite off-season day has arrived as Wednesday is the day that high school studs from all over the country officially sign letters of intent to play at various colleges. Rest assured, The Hog Tale will have a comprehensive breakdown on the Razorback signees.
I just hope we land Delflo LaKilla IV. He’s a 6’6” 260 pound middle linebacker with 4.0 speed, a 52 inch vertical, and can play tight end and quarterback if needed. He benches 550, squats 1,500 pounds, can throw a football a quarter mile, scored a 2350 on the SAT, and is listed as the nation’s first ever 12 star recruit. While you wait to see whether the Hogs land Delflo and a whole host of other 12 star recruits, check out and vote in the Razorback Madness bracket at the link below...

Razorback Madness Tournament

Here is the link to participate in the on-going channel 40/29 voting for "The Greatest Razorback of All Time."

Eddie Sutton Wants To Replace Son

Former Arkansas basketball coach Eddie Sutton finally got magical win number 800 on Saturday night as the Sutton family’s beloved Dons of the University of San Francisco overcame a 19 point second half deficit to beat Pepperdine 85-82. I always knew that Easy Eddie would get that 800th win legitimately at a school he loves. The Dons now have six wins on the season (two under Sutton) as El Sutton joins Robert Monty Knight, Deanister Smith, Adolpho Rupp, and Jim Phlem as the only Division I men’s coaches to win 800 games.

“It’s just been a dream come true,” said Sutton after the win, “First, I get to come here and coach the University of San Francisco Dons. It’s been a lifelong dream of mine to coach here! Who wouldn’t want to coach here? And now this 800th win. I had kind of lost track. I didn’t know how many wins I had to tell you the truth. The effects of alcohol are a mutha sometimes. I think I can get to 1,000 wins though if they hire me back at Oklahoma State.”

Sutton is referring to reports that OSU wants him back immediately (where the floor is named after him) to replace his son, Sean, who is on the verge of being run out of town.

“Sean’s just doing a crappy job,” said Eddie, “It reminds me of the time I left him in charge of the house when he was a sophomore in high school and his mother and I were off to a game somewhere. I came home and he had had one hellacious party at our house. Liquor bottles and weed were everywhere. Sean was passed out on top of the washing machine with a condom around the top of his head, and somehow his friends had stuffed poor little Scott (younger brother) up the chimney where he was stuck and crying like a baby. His friends had taken turns climbing up onto the roof and peeing down the chimney right on top of Scott’s head. I don’t know why I thought Sean could coach at Oklahoma State all by himself. His mom and I should have never left him for San Francisco.”

Hog Tale inside sources say that Eddie will be brought back to Stillwater any day to replace Sean. Scott Sutton will leave ORU and become associate head coach for Eddie until Eddie reaches 1,000 wins and then Scott will take over as head coach. Sean Sutton will remain on staff as full time video coordinator.



(Sexiest Man Alive Sean Sutton is on the hot seat in Stillwater)






If this doesn’t happen Eddie says that while he has loved being at the University of San Francisco he thinks that he can get to 1,000 wins quicker elsewhere.

“I’ve been scouting my grandson’s little league games and I think I can take his team to a new level and pick up some wins on my way to 1,000 pretty easily in that league. And although my wife and I love San Francisco, I just want to get out of here as quickly as possible. No offense, University of San Fran.”

(Eddie's next stop? OSU? Maybe. If not, it could be at the helm of a talented youth league team somewhere near you!)

Gatorspade

(As always Bob Barker tells you to help control the pet population by having your pet gator spade or neutered.)



No apologies needed. Don't feel like you need to email or comment to me about how bad you feel when you scoffed at my prediction for the game (below). At one point Saturday, Arkansas led 62-32 and would have easily made my score prediction a reality, but the classy coach that John Pelphrey is just couldn't allow that happen. But anyway, apologies accepted. Let's just move on.

On Saturday, I don't think there was any doubt that the best team in the SEC was playing in Bud Walton Arena before an overflow crowd. That hasn't obviously been the case this season and even the talking heads on TV are still yapping about Tennessee, Mississippi State, Vanderbilt, and even Kentucky is showing some signs of life now.

I don't care if Tennessee, Miss. St., Kentucky, Vanderbilt or a combination of the four were playing the Razorbacks yesterday in Bud Walton, they were not coming away with a win.


I think this also puts to rest that whole bogus "what good friends Pelphrey and Donovan are" conspiracy theory. If they were really good friends, this would not have happened, because after all, friends don't let friends get their asses kicked by friends.


The 19 point win was not as close as suggested and Sonny Weems is starting to realize that he is among the elite players in this conference, and Patrick Beverley continues his 6'1" impersonation of Dennis Rodman for the Hogs as he hauled down a team high 12 rebounds (the sixth time in the last seven games he has led the Razorbacks in rebounding).

Arkansas Players' among SEC Statistical leaders:

Rebounding: Patrick Beverley - 10th (tie) 6.9 rpg

Scoring: Sonny Weems - 17th 14.5 ppg; Patrick Beverley - 31st 12.0 ppg

Assists: Gary Ervin - 13th 3.4 apg

Blocks: Steven Hill - 4th 2.0 bpg

Steals: Sonny Weems - 17th 1.5 spg; Patrick Beverley - 18th 1.4 spg; Gary Ervin - 20th 1.4 spg

Chomp Chomp Chomp

Arkansas 15-5 (4-2) vs. #20 Florida 18-3 (5-1)
Tipoff: 2:05 pm Saturday
TV: Raycom Sports



OK, I have to admit that I didn’t realize Florida was 18-3 and ranked 20th. I haven’t paid too much attention to the current champions. Instead, I've been basking in the agony of Kentucky basketball, watching the over-rated Vanderbilt team on occasion, and checking in on the psycho orange suit jacket and the Basketvols to get a gauge on their chances come March. But Florida? I thought they had five or six losses. The back to back national champions' three losses are at Ole Miss, at Ohio State and against Florida State.

Everyone remembers last year’s destruction of the Razorbacks by Florida in the SEC Championship game (both football and basketball), and now the time has come for a little revenge against the Gaytors.

Apparently, Pelphrey and Donovan are good friends or something like that. Supposedly, Pelphrey's daughter's middle name is Donovan. Yikes. Poor girl. I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear any of this nonsense on the news last night and that the two coaches are bitter enemies who may end up brawling during the game and just want nothing more than to jack the other one up.


(Just look at this picture of Donovan and Urban Meyer being all buddy-buddy on the basketball court. Makes me want to puke.)


The Gaytors are led by freshman Nick Calathes’ 16 points and five rebounds per game and by sophomore Marreese Speights’ 14 points and 8 rebounds per game. I don’t see any problem controlling these punks.




















Steven Hill was the SEC's original basketball Jesus before he went and got himself all cleaned up, but it doesn't matter because the 11th commandment says thou shalt not come into my house and take the Hogs name in vain... something like that. The faithful will be yelling out Hoggelujah! as the Razorbacks hand the Gaytors loss number four on the year. We all know that Gators wear jean shorts, and in a close one, Razorbacks win it 98-42.


Finally, I realize there is a little football game coming up on Sunday. The only thing I know is that there will be too many commercials (some of which may make you laugh), we will see way too many shots of the Manning family throughout the game (I'm putting the over/under at 37), and that the halftime show will suck. Other than that I am in complete agreement with everything Carl says below except for the Patriots will win.

Hogs Handle Dogs, Bring On the Gators

The Razorbacks have played like a potential SEC champion the last two games in winning at LSU (who sucks, but still it's a road win) and last night's 20 point bouncing of Mississippi State. Despite an ugly start that saw the score only 3-0 in the Hogs favor at the first official timeout, the Hogs were up 15 at the half. The Hogs survived an early second half scare but were never truly threatened in this 20 point blowout of Western Division-leading Mississippi State.

Weems and Beverley are starting to realize that they are going to have to be agressive on the offensive end and score if this Razorback team is going to take it to the next level. Last night was a prime example as Weems went for 22 points while taking 17 shots and Beverley added 19 while taking 16 shots. Beverley also had 10 more rebounds. This is really how it has to be for the Razorbacks to be able to make a run into the NCAA Tournament in March. Beverley and Weems should each be taking at least 12-15 shots every game. If most of those shots are decent looks, then the Hogs should be able to get 15-20 from each every game, and the Razorbacks will be tough to beat if that happens.

Up next: the Florida Gators on Saturday afternoon

Pelphrey Calls Beverley a "Pitbull", Pitbull Association Not Happy

In a press conference earlier this week, Coach John Pelphrey likened sophomore guard Patrick Beverley’s rebounding tenacity to that of a pitbull saying:

"He's a pit bull. You think when he goes up, he's going to get it or somebody is going to lose their arm. Maybe both - he can get it and take somebody's arm off.”

Well, shortly after this controversial statement, The National American Pitbull Association released their own statement:

While we appreciate any positive attention to pitbulls, we are going to have to vehemently oppose Coach Pelphrey’s current stance. We do recognize Coach John Pelphrey’s valiant attempt to compare the two, but at this time we would rather Coach Pelphrey refer to Mr. Beverley as maybe a Doberman Pinscher or German Shepherd as we feel these breeds would be more appropriate. Just as we would never say that Vincent Hunter reminds us of a Great Dane, we would appreciate Coach Pelphrey not comparing the world’s best fighting dog to his lanky 6’1 shooting guard. Until Mr. Beverley can consistently mangle faces and arms and legs, and attack babies and elderly people with no provocation whatsoever, we politely request that Coach Pelphrey not compare him to our beloved pitbulls anymore. Once Mr. Beverley can demonstrate a total lack of compassion for human life and grow some inch long fangs, then, and only then will we reconsider his case to be compared to a pitbull.

Sincerely,

The National American Pitbull Association

(What? I'm not mean. It's just this bouncy, spotty ball is really pissing me off!)









The Mississippi State Preview



Arkansas 14-5 (3-2) vs. #25 Mississippi State 14-5 (5-0)
Tipoff: 7:05 CST
TV: Raycom Sports


So, speaking of dogs, the Razorbacks host the Mississucky State Bulldogs tonight in the biggest game of the year arguably for both teams. An Arkansas win moves them to 4-2 in conference and drops Mississippi State to 5-1. A Bulldogs win gives State a three game lead in the west.

Lamont Gordon will be the man the Razorbacks will need to key on tonight as the Wooden Award Candidate is averaging 17 points, 6 rebounds and 4 assists per game. Big man Jarvis Varnado leads the country in blocked shots per game averaging 5.1 blocks per game which translates into 97 this season! By comparison, our own Steven Hill, the reigning SEC defensive player of the year, has 39 blocks for an average of 2.1 per game.



(Warning: This man will be patrolling the paint like a Steven Hill Version 2.0 tonight. Enter at your own risk)






Prediction: Our Pitbull single-handedly destroys a bunch of Bulldogs as the Razorbacks win 134 - 16.

Charles Is Not In Charge

(How could you, Charles? Buddy would be so disappointed in you.)













Charles Thomas has been suspended for Wednesday night's crucial matchup against Western Division leading Mississippi State for "violation of team rules." Thomas couldn't have picked a worse time to screw up as the Hogs have a chance to make it a race in the SEC West with a win. Thomas' 10 points and 5 boards per game will hopefully be filled by either Michael Washington or Vincent Hunter.


Pelphrey refused to say much in his press conference about the suspension except to express his extreme disappointment in Thomas. No word as to whether Nicole Eggert was involved in anyway.